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Trying to work things out without telling family - advice please

(3 Posts)
CherryBlossomPink Mon 07-Nov-16 20:24:24

We have been seperated for a few months now and my family have been hugely supportive to me and helped me get on with life. The cause of the split was down to us drifting apart and not spending time together and things came to a head with him deciding he didn't want to be with me any longer. We had limited contact initially, but things have become a little more cordial and we are meeting up tomorrow evening to discuss how we move things forward.
There is a part of me which thinks with some counselling we could work through our issues and try again (there are things which would need to change on both sides and it would have to be a very slow process for us both to rebuild things) and depending on how tomorrow evening goes, I am planning to suggest it if he seems to be on the same page.
My issue is my family - they have been hugely supportive but have seen how upset I've been and totally blame him (even though I've explained there was fault on both sides) and would think I'm mad to consider taking him back, but they aren't the ones still missing him madly - we were together for 17 years and I still love him, just don't like him much at the moment.
Would I be wrong if we do decide to try again (and it's a very big if at the moment) to not tell them until I see how things work out? I hate the idea of deceiving them, but don't want to have to deal with their reaction until I know if things stand a chance.
There are no kids to consider - anyone got any advice?

bluecashmere Mon 07-Nov-16 20:36:27

Sorry to sound negative but you could be in for a disappointment. He wanted to end it before. What makes you think he's changed his mind? It's clear you would like to give it another go but even if he wanted to, would you constantly feel it could happen again at any point?

If he wants to try, tell your family the truth and your reasons. Don't alienate them as you might need them again.

CherryBlossomPink Mon 07-Nov-16 20:46:26

Don't worry about sounding negative, I asked for advice and genuinely want it.
I don't know what his views on trying again are, but the tone and content of texts and emails over the last few weeks has changed enough for me to think this may be a possibility. Having said that, I've worked too hard trying to rebuild myself over the last few months to let him bring me down again, I won't even suggest it unless I get the right feedback from our meeting tomorrow. I'm not going with any expectations but I can't deny I've considered it and know what my conditions would be to try again - if he doesn't want to try then at least I'll know for sure.
Thanks for the advice

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