Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Dating, really confused!!

(8 Posts)
TpLeela Mon 07-Nov-16 18:43:59

Hi, hoping somebody could give me some advice on here as I don't know what to think. I'm 22 I've been single for a year & a half was too afraid to get back into dating, have a lot of trust issues due to my past bad relationship with my child father. So I chose to stay single away from guys. At heart When the time is right I want to settle down into a serious relationship,I don't want to waste my time invest time Into a man for nothing. So anyway, recently I've been speaking to a guy for 4 weeks now he's 27. When we 1st started speaking he always initiated the contact first. He would text everyday, phone calls etc all within the first week of speaking. It seemed he was interested from the jump. He asked to see me that 1st week however I don't believe in seeing a man so quickly, not only did I not want to seem so hasty by agreeing so fast. But without intending to judge for all I know he could be dodgy that was my initial thoughts. I'm very sceptical when meeting any male I don't know. So i politely declined said I already had a family party to attend. We continued texting back & fourth he still made effort to reach out phone/text everyday. Fast forward he asked me out again two weeks after. Was still a bit sceptical but agreed to let him take me out. Ended up seeing him the Saturday the date went so well that he wanted to see me again the next day (Sunday) & I happily agreed as the date went extremely well to my surprise. Things flowed well there was a bit of sexual tension which I didn't expect, we ended up getting a bit sexual, sexual play/contact but we didn't have sex. (I know things moved real quick) But everything seemed fine that night after he let me know he not seeking/ hunting a relationship if it happens it happens but he don't just want "sex" either, he still wants to take me out etc, chill, get to know me more. The first few days after that weekend all contact from him was the same but suddenly he would message me then reply back 5/6 hours later, randomly his phone would be off the whole day, when at the beginning he always replied nearly everyday. Now since Wednesday gone (last week) it's been 5 days he hasn't initiated any contact atall. I wanted to text him, make general conversation however I feel if he is really interested & trying to persue me he should contact me. What's changed? I'm really confused I feel it's either because I allowed sexual contact too early technically the 2nd date. & my instincts telling me he probably got another female somewhere probably a girlfriend could be hiding for all I know. I just have this weird instinct call me crazy but I feel it. I don't trust males as it is I never believe their intention is genuine, as its never turnt out to be in my past. I thought he was actually interested/liked me but now I feel someone else has gathered his interest, maybe he's lost interest in me. What should I do? Any advice would be much appreciated. Should I just forget him totally what's happened has happened move on. Should I message him? Am I just overthinking the worst case scenarios & is this normal would you say? I wish I didn't form any liking to him so soon but it's evident that sadly I do like this guy. Help!??

Madinche1sea Mon 07-Nov-16 19:11:44

It's confusing OP, but whatever is going on, the issue is his, not yours. You can't control how other people behave, only how you react, so don't call him!! If he wants to be in touch he will. Chasing him will almost certainly have the effect of chasing him away. You're very young and there's s world full of men out there.

TheNaze73 Mon 07-Nov-16 19:16:25

Sorry to say this OP but, he's not interested by the sound of things. The days of blokes having to do all the chasing have long gone however, he's giving you nothing. So do nothing

TpLeela Mon 07-Nov-16 19:48:08

Thank you for your response, I appreciate it yes it's very confusing, honestly as you say if he wanted to be in touch he would, i guess I'd rather see the signs early if he's a waste of time, than later down the line with more feelings invested. Just thought I'd gave it a little try for once as I haven't dated in quite a long while.

TpLeela Mon 07-Nov-16 19:49:33

@Madinche1sea, thanks again.

TpLeela Mon 07-Nov-16 19:53:29

@TheNaze73 honestly I feel the same he can't be genuinely interested, as he would still be persuing things and unfortunately that's how it is now, but it would make it a lot easier if males were just upfront in what they want from the beginning, the mix signals thing to me just waste of time really. Thank you for your response too though, I appreciate it.

Madinche1sea Mon 07-Nov-16 20:20:55

People are all over the place OP, but the good news is that you have the prime of your life ahead of you! Just continue to be yourself and if men don't appreciate that it's their loss.

TpLeela Mon 07-Nov-16 21:56:27

@Madinche1sea, your right, and yes I will do exactly that. I forget I'm still young and in due time when the times right I'll settle down with the right person, thank you smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now