Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I think I'm done.

(10 Posts)
ParrotPudding Mon 07-Nov-16 18:17:35

I kicked my partner, and father of my two children out the house today. I think I did the right thing, but I don't know about long term.
Long history of problems with MIL, she's very manipulative, lies, loves a drama etc, all of which DP is well aware of after recent events.
Anyway, I've gone Lc with MIl for those reasons but am civil and welcome her into my home and make an effort to accommodate her seeing the kids.
Today she came over and suggested a big family holiday. Sils BILs l, MIl and dp Dn and Dn. For a week. At pontins.
She wants to book it and pay deposits and will let us know when it is.
I made it very clear I was not up for it, me and DP have work commitments amongst other things so we can't just up and leave for a week on some random date. I know this probably sounds really ungrateful pf me, but I cant think of anything worse than spending a week cooped up with Daps family. We've not even been on a family holiday just us, or just us and our children yet!
Anyway, cut a long story short. P told his mum " yeah whatever" so she practically skipped out of my house, to go and book it!
Big argument when she left, him not communicating has been a problem for a while. He didn't want to hear what I felt on the matter. After a while he threw remote across room and shouted at me. Called me a stupid bitch and said he was sick of my shit. This was all in front of DC 3&1yo.
I told him to leave immediately.
Since then he's text me saying sorry "you know DC would love it. You're ruining it for them because you and my family don't get along, I was wrong for shouting, I shouldn't of shouted in sorry"
Sorry this is such a bloody essay I just need to talk it through. I've put my key in door so he can't get back in. I didn't reply to his texts and not heard anything since.
I just don't know what to do long term, I don't even think I want him to come back confused

Whisky2014 Mon 07-Nov-16 18:28:28

Fuck that. Sounds like hell and i get on with my partners family!
No way would i take him back after that. You are well rid! Now you can be happy smile

HolyCrow Mon 07-Nov-16 18:44:32

The fact that he has been physically aggressive (throwing the remote) as well as verbally is an eye opener and a huge warning sign for what's inevitably going to happen in the future.

With my exh I told myself continuously it was a one off. It wasn't.

Think about your poor dc as well as yourself. They will look to him to see how a man should treat his wife and that's not how you would want your Ds/Dd to behave or accept behaviour.

It might be hard at first, it's a big step, but don't let him have the chance to do it again.

Big hugs xx

Guiltypleasures001 Mon 07-Nov-16 18:49:35

That's not an apology, that's emotional blackmail and your the problem not his family
flowers

user1478530203 Mon 07-Nov-16 18:56:29

I can totally sympathises I have a MIL who's very manipulative and especially since we have had our daughter she has gotten worse. My husband does try and understand but it can cause arguments. Anyway if your so unhappy and he's disrespectful to you then I can see why your better off without. It's your call but yes your right to be annoyed. Put yourself and kids first.

I hope it all works out for you in the endsmile

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected Mon 07-Nov-16 18:59:21

BUT............your DCs would probably love to go on one week's holiday to Butlins with their nanny, aunties, uncles, nieces/nephews etc., wouldn't they?
Could you not have sucked it up, as you say, you do manage to tolerate her?
I think and quite rightly so, you don't like this because YOU weren't given the option of choice because your DH, readily accepted the invite.
For clarity, I do not accept that swearing or throwing objects is acceptable with or without children present.

TheNaze73 Mon 07-Nov-16 19:19:04

The communication here sounds terrible. What he did wasn't good either.

SandyY2K Mon 07-Nov-16 19:24:06

Can't say I blame you to be honest. He should have said the two of you would discuss it and get back to her.

How can she go and book a date not knowing your availability?

His outburst and throwing the remote and calling you a B were way out of line.

sonjadog Mon 07-Nov-16 19:30:37

It is entirely reasonable that you don't want to go on holiday with them. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

ParrotPudding Mon 07-Nov-16 19:35:00

Sandy, she is going to just pick a week and book it then let dp know what week it is. That's literally the only organisation.
He's come home and stated that its unfair that I asked him to leave the home and that he missed the kids going to bed.
Its all most definitely all my fault. hmm
He's gone again now. Sob story about price of a hotel first though.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now