Why am I struggling more 7 months on than 7 days

[WorriedWife2016]

Hubbie left after I discover his affair 7 months ago, I have spoken to him few times since,he says he is happier.
Ow is still with her hubbie and still seeing mine
My DH does not see the kids 15 and 18,at first they didn't want too now he has been such a dick they still can't get past it but he is making zero effort.
Last I saw him he said he would buy ds an X box for Xmas and give dd £300
I can't afford that, he can't buy them, they won't be bought,I have a dad with horrific cancer full time job kids dog etc etc
I have held it all together,I posted about feeling lost and got some great advice I am seeing doc soon practicing mindfulness trying to be kind to myself
I have never really sohuted at him etc but now I am so feckin angry I just want to scream at him he's such a fucking twat....sorry but God I hate what he has put the kids and me through ...I just don't seem to be able to move forward
On the front I have but why seven months in do I feel worse.
Fucks sake....he doesn't seem to give a shit at all...god I bloody love/hate/love/hate hate hate him there is no way back but it doesn't stop it being utter.y shite at times.
I am happier on my own which is why it's confusing me I think it's anger unanswered questions bitterness and a bit of jealously that he see so laid back at throwing our life away.🙄😩😢

[Bubblebath01]

Karma. About a year on, there is karma. It is not easy, but the satisfaction that I have genuine love from my children, whereas he is, to not put too finer a point on it, buying their affection. Karma comes around, neither of my children regard him with any real affection, they actually think he is complete prat. But, they "manipulate" his position to their advantage. Good on them. Relax Worried, they have a great mum, better than a delusional father, and they know that, although it will take time for you to see it for yourself. Take care.

[Howlongtilldinner]

7 months is nothing OP, it's still very very early days. This roller coaster of emotions unfortunately, will continue for some time, but it does settle, it will settle and you will find peace.

I have had an abusive relationship but never (not that I know of) been cheated on, I don't know how people cope with that, it would destroy me. OW is welcome to him I would say, lying cheating deceitful bastard, what a charmer!

Time, I'm afraid, is the only healer here OP, and what you're experiencing is very normal.

[WorriedWife2016]

Thank you for the replies, I know the kids know but I get all their moods and stress and anger too😩😩😩😩 I know I'm glad of it really but I simply cannot believe he's done this, I am quite loud but so laid back I'm not demanding high maintainance etc I just like a steady life I just can't get over what's happened