Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Convinced Dh has lied to be

(14 Posts)
Soubriquet Fri 04-Nov-16 16:05:50

Considered NC but most people would recognise my posts anyway

I've been having problems with my ears lately. To the point where it's possible my hearing has been permanently affected

I'm already severely deaf and losing what I've got is terrifying me

I had one appointment lost with ENT specialist through the NHS when the department in my local hospital closed.

So I self referred to my own audiologist to at least find out if my hearing has been affected even if we don't know why.

My appointment was set for 3 weeks ahead and we was happy with that.

Two weeks later Dh transferred departments at work which meant that he wouldn't have finished work in time to have the children for my appoitment. No one else would have been able to do

His first day was my appointment day. He told me he would ask work if could finish work an hour earlier so I could attend my appoitment.

Wouldn't look brilliant with a new manager but it was important that I saw them

However on the Sunday he told me that he had just had a phone call. My appoitment had been cancelled through them, they had apologised and would send me a new one through the post.

3 weeks later, no new appoitment has come through, so I've rang today to find out what happened.

They are adamant, it wasn't cancelled and I had missed the appoitment.

I'm furious and devastated.

I can't ask him because he will swear he hadn't lied.

It's completely out of character for him. He's never done anything like this before and he has always put my health first

Could I be wrong and he did receive that phone call and somewhere got confused.

Or do I need to face the facts and accept he has probably lied straight to my face sad

LellyMcKelly Fri 04-Nov-16 16:09:02

They are unlikely to have phoned on a Sunday. If the call was to a mobile you can get a list of received calls. You should be able to tell from that.

BobbieDog Fri 04-Nov-16 16:10:09

If he lied i can understand why.

Asking to finish early on your first day is in my opinion a no go! I can understand him being very wary of asking and he probaly thought the best thing to do could be re arrange the appointment however it sounds like you wouldnt of been willing to do that so he possible felt backed into a corner.

Littletabbyocelot Fri 04-Nov-16 16:32:25

The NHS could not talk to your husband. The fact that you have a medical appointment is confidential information and not everyone chooses to confide in a spouse. The rules in every hospital I've ever worked in are explicit. The most you could ever say is 'could you ask her to call tabby at the NHS" and even then only if you worked for a general service (so a GP OK, midwifery not).

SandyY2K Fri 04-Nov-16 16:37:13

They actually do work on Sundays. I was suprised to see weekend appointments and thought my dad got the wrong date, but Doctors and Admin staff work weekends.

Soubriquet Fri 04-Nov-16 16:38:11

I have given permission to speak because I struggle with the telephone so badly

So he books my appoitments for me

I bit the bullet and asked him...and like I predicted he was incredibly hurt I even thought it

I think I did get the wrong end of the stick though

Like he pointed out, he finished early that day anyway. (Completed the work)

I could have gone anyway if we knew the appoitment was still standing

I feel like a cunt now though

BobbieDog Fri 04-Nov-16 16:40:12

I would of assumed the same op.

SandyY2K Fri 04-Nov-16 16:41:00

Just reread it. Did you give them your landline to contact you? It does sound a bit suspect.

I would tell him what they said though. If he did that, it's really bad.

Soubriquet Fri 04-Nov-16 16:41:32

Yes the landline

And he knows. Sounds like things have got mixed up

SandyY2K Fri 04-Nov-16 16:43:46

If he really did lie he's going to put on an act though. That's hardly concrete evidence, but I would suggest you get them to put everything in writing from now on. They do send texts as well.

You'll never know for sure.

Clutterbugsmum Fri 04-Nov-16 18:00:35

Our local hospital phones to confirm the appointment the week before and will keep phoning until they speak to a person. So it would have been possible for him to cancel it then.

LIZS Fri 04-Nov-16 18:12:46

Our hospitals can send text reminders and will cancel by letter. It is possible they needed to cancel at short notice, for illness for example, but seems less likely. Are you still on the list? When you spoke to the clinic did they offer you another appointment, can you request communication by email/text/letter given your hearing problems in future.

offside Fri 04-Nov-16 19:24:24

Bobbiedog, I don't think it's a big no no in these circumstances. Employers usually ask if you have any commitments coming up before you start and I can't understand why asking to finish early for childcare as your DW/DH has an important hospital appointment should be an issue. Health is far more important than work.

OP, I hope your suspicions are wrong but I guess you'll never find out.

Itchyclit Fri 04-Nov-16 21:41:40

I've had a Monday appointment cancelled on a Sunday, via text message so not even a phonecall, that was at a large London hospital though, not sure if smaller hospitals are geared up in the same way.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now