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Have you ever regretted leaving your husband?

(46 Posts)
Hanginginthebalance Thu 03-Nov-16 16:56:10

Very broad question I know. But just wondered if anyone has? I've not left. It's playing on my mind 24/7 though.

BlueFolly Thu 03-Nov-16 17:03:09

No.

5subjectnotebook Thu 03-Nov-16 17:05:16

No.

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 03-Nov-16 17:05:48

Not for a second. And while I was deeply unhappy and pretty much just existing and wasting away in a horrible marriage, I didn't actually realise how shit and wrong some of it was until long after I'd left, and even more so when I met my now DH and started to enjoy a "normal" relationship.

You can never have any idea how people will react when a relationship ends and for most people it's only then that you see who your ex really was - mine did not cover himself in glory and was even more of an epic shit than I could ever have imagined. Confirmed that I'd made the right decision many times over.

Are you happy? Does your partner and your relationship make you feel good, respected, cherished, looked after, loved, appreciated, valued, optimistic about the future? If not, you can leave. There's no law to say things have to be a certain way in order for you to decide the relationship isn't right for you.

If you're thinking about it this much it must be eating away at your soul and exhausting. Can you imagine things being worse if you were apart? Or does the prospect fill you with hope and optimism?

No one said leaving is easy, but in the long run it's a damn sight easier than trying to survive a relationship that doesn't make you happy.

PinklePurr Thu 03-Nov-16 17:06:16

Yes & no.

No because he was an arse and I was downright miserable.

Yes because I'm in no better place emotionally but I'm financially worse off.

AnneLovesGilbert Thu 03-Nov-16 17:06:17

Sorry for waffling on.... blush I just wish someone had said that to me.

rawsienna Thu 03-Nov-16 17:06:41

Is his name Jamie? hmm

It would be great if it was.

ChicRock Thu 03-Nov-16 17:09:40

A friend of mine regrets leaving her husband. She realised after a year or so that her unhappiness and dissatisfaction with life in general actually nothing to do with him.

She's the type of person that can't seem to live in the 'now' and she's forever waiting for the perfect set of circumstances to be in place, so that the wonderful life she envisages, can happen.

But once those circumstances are in place, she'll find something else to negatively focus on. She's decided that now, the problem is the town she lives in, so is planning to move across the country.

FetchezLaVache Thu 03-Nov-16 17:14:02

I used to, briefly, from time to time. But then he'd do or say something arseholey and I'd remember why I got out!

TheNaze73 Thu 03-Nov-16 18:07:00

Think your own circumstances are going to be unique OP. For every positive, there'll be a negative but, all relationships are unique

ITMama1 Thu 03-Nov-16 18:16:11

Initially yes, but that was mostly through guilt due to his inability to understand it was actually over, even after I moved out and met someone else, he still expected us to get back together.

I soon got over it when less than a year after I left I found out he had got a 17 year old work colleague pregnant (he was 29).

I'm now happily married to the man I met after leaving ex and we're expecting our first child 10 years later.

I realised pretty quickly that I had made the right decision and deserve a happy life with DH2.

QuarterMileAtATime Thu 03-Nov-16 18:19:45

As you say, circumstances will vary, but I'm one year on and no regrets here.

fuzzywuzzy Thu 03-Nov-16 18:20:53

He was abusive. No.

Even at my lowest points after leaving (low points because of his continued abuse thro the courts), I never once wished I hadn't done it. Life was never as bad as it had been when I was married to him.

DC & I are really happy and neither they nor I regret it one tiny bit.

Myusernameismyusername Thu 03-Nov-16 18:21:05

No

StarOnTheTree Thu 03-Nov-16 18:25:11

Not once in 15 years. Maybe if I hadn't had to see him regularly I might have occasionally wondered if he could gave changed for the better. But no because every time I see him it confirms once again that I did the right thing.

Threepumpkins Thu 03-Nov-16 19:02:04

Nope

It's not like life post divorce is all rosy. It's been harder managing as a single parent than anything else I've ever attempted, but living an authentic life rather than having to pretend to friends, family, DC that everything is OK when it patently isn't, trumps any of the challenges.

category12 Thu 03-Nov-16 19:20:25

Nope, not for one second have I regretted it. I don't miss him at all. I've never had a single doubt it was the right thing for me to do, although the angst and pain beforehand and over the years was enormous. I've been lucky that the dc have coped very well and don't seem bothered - and we are amicable. It was a weight lifted and I am more confident and happier than I have been in - ever.

Anniegetyourgun Thu 03-Nov-16 19:25:38

I regretted that I had to leave. But I really did have to. In hindsight I've no idea how I stuck it so long.

lht22 Thu 03-Nov-16 19:30:13

Yes, massively.

lukasgrahamfan Thu 03-Nov-16 19:39:45

Yes I have.

gingerboy1912 Thu 03-Nov-16 19:42:42

Nope, it's been tough since we divorced, financially and raising the kids on my own but he was an awful person who was slowly killing my spirit

Reindeerlily Thu 03-Nov-16 19:44:06

Absolutely fucking not!! He was and is a cock.

EdgeofGlory Thu 03-Nov-16 20:10:52

Not for one second, wish I'd done it years ago when he was first unfaithful and I stupidly thought he'd change........even though I am 7 months into an acrimonious divorce I wouldn't change it for the world. I feel free

Forgettheworld Thu 03-Nov-16 20:20:48

No, best thing I ever did. I upped and left one night with my DS after 10 years together. I got my own home, managed fine financially and emotionally. It made me a much stronger more confident person. Never looked back since. Now currently living with someone after 2 years loving life!

TwoNoisyBoys Thu 03-Nov-16 20:23:29

Nope. Not once.

I regretted that I married him, and that my marriage didn't work because he was a nasty abusive git, but I never, ever, once regretted leaving him.

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