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Any advice?

(5 Posts)
85476466la Thu 03-Nov-16 11:31:13

So I'm struggling to get things done around the house, and have had pains in my side last night so after work I came home and made dinner as usual.

Five months pregnant. Ftm.

Anyway, my other half started getting in the way and clearing up around me. I said leave the washing up I'll do it in the morning and got into bed. He then asks for a drink (when he's still in the bedroom and I'm now in bed) so I said surely that makes more sense for you to make it?

So then he went into one and called me a lazy c** and then a fat c, and that nobody wants a fat c (I have literally started showing today and felt like crap about it). So I started crying because I'm bloody exhausted and he just said oh it's your hormones again isn't it and then went to sleep!

He needs to understand that I can't do everything anymore! Any ideas on what to do? I'm still so angry this morning. He's not usually like this.

Please don't be mean, I'm not full of confidence as it is sad xx

(Was originally posted in pregnancy someone recommended me to post here too) xx

Humblebee1 Thu 03-Nov-16 11:44:16

He needs to get a grip. flowers You have to rest. Working at five months pregnant, he should be looking after you in the evenings, whilst you put your feet up.

jangleduke Thu 03-Nov-16 11:51:05

OP, your post made me really sad. This was like how my ex treated me when I was pregnant. It took me a while to realise he was emotionally and mentally abusing me. I felt like his punchbag for years. I finally left 2 years ago, and I have found a new happiness that I never thought I would feel again.

He is verbally abusing you and he doesn't give a shit. Lets break it down:

First, he expects you to get out of bed to make him a drink (that would be a pisstake whether you are pregnant or not) he then verbally assaults you, calling you lazy even though you made him dinner when you were in physical pain. He calls you a cunt?? That is utterly disgusting. I wouldn't say that to my worst enemy. Then he kicks you when you are down, blaming your hormones for being upset. ITS NOT BECAUSE OF YOUR HORMONES IT'S BECAUSE OF THE WAY HE TREATS YOU. Then, he falls asleep. He doesn't care a jot that he has just broken you down and called you vile, vile names.

He is disgusting. Please, open your eyes. Do you want this despicable man in your life, when the baby comes? What will you be teaching your child about the way human beings interact with one another?

This is not how a relationship should be.

Do you have any RL support?

Happybunny19 Thu 03-Nov-16 12:04:15

Everyone at this stage of pregnancy is tired all the time, and sick as a dog sometimes too (I was all three times unfortunately), your oh should understand and be supportive. My oh had to do so much during my last pregnancy as I couldn't cook or be near the smell of food for the first five months. He looked after the house, our other two dcs and two dogs while working full-time. I work part-time and had to be signed off for a month, but he still looked after us all, without complaint. That's what a loving, supportive partner usually does for a pregnant partner.

Why would you be expected to get him a drink anyway, pregnant or not? Is he incapable of finding the kitchen?

And as for calling you fat, that's astonishingly cruel and unnecessary. If he continues perhaps you should explain how much he will have to pay in maintenance when you kick him out. Your community midwife is available to talk to about abuse you experience at home should you require further support. Do you have any RL family or friends you can turn to?

AttilaTheMeerkat Thu 03-Nov-16 12:33:36


The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none. He is showing you who he really is now and being a father won't make him behave better either.

He is perfectly capable of getting a drink for his own self; he sees you really as a slave there to do his bidding.

I would start planning your exit from this relationship. Some abusive men show their true colours when the woman is pregnant as you now are.

What real life support do you have?. Womens Aid would be worth calling as well.

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