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EA / mental health

(4 Posts)
OneTiredMummmyyy Wed 02-Nov-16 07:00:29

I have finally told my P it is over (emotional abuse on his part since I was pregnant and one physical episode where I was bruised "unintentionally" by him hmm and police were called). I have two DC under three and am a SAHM.

He flipped last night when I told him. First he refused to let me end it, he said we need to work through our problems. Then when I said I have given him lots of chances and he blew up saying he didn't love me anyway, told me to "fuck off, bitch" and tried to take the kids passports before storming out to his parents.

I have spoken to his dad and he is keeping him at their house for now. However... I think he could also have some underlying mental health issues (anxiety, bipolar?). I tried to raise that with him and he just said I'm trying to stitch him up as always. (He is forever thinking I'm scheming against him! )

I will get legal advice today but in the meantime, what do I do about letting him see the kids? I would rather he sees them supervised with a member of his family at the moment given his behaviour and the fact they are so young, but do I have grounds enough to request that? WWYD?

Any advice greatly received as my brain is so foggy this morning. I didn't sleep much last night for worrying about next steps!

pallasathena Wed 02-Nov-16 09:51:17

Tell him its supervised or he gets nothing. And quote the police intervention if necessary to justify your decision.

RiceCrispieTreats Wed 02-Nov-16 10:01:53

IME any bully has an underlying MH issue. But that is an explanation, not an excuse, and it doesn't follow that the problem is fixable: a person needs to see the problem for what it is, and choose to work on themselves.

Abusers never do: they always prefer to blame someone else. That's why they don't change, and the only solution is to stay the fuck away from them.

You can request whatever form of contact you think is best for the children. Whether you obtain it is out if your hands, but look at it this way: the only chance you have of getting supervised contact is if you push for it.

OneTiredMummmyyy Wed 02-Nov-16 10:24:33

Thank you for the replies. I have spoken to local children's centre (health visitor) who supported me after police incident and she said as the children's main carer I need to put their safety first so if that means pushing for supervised access then I can do that. Basically if he wants unsupervised he needs to take it to mediation / court.

You are right about the mental health side, PP. It may make certain things worse but still no justification for calling me names and being cruel. I have members of my immediate and extended family who do suffer from various mental health issues and they do not call people names! I think the name calling is just a nasty streak.

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