My marriage has been in trouble for a while. 6 weeks ago I told my husband that I wanted a divorce as I considered him to be a classic passive aggressive and that I felt he had been emotionally abusing me for a long period of time. He begged me to give him another chance and said that he wanted to start individual therapy to deal with his issues.
I was vary wary, given all that's happened over the years and told him that we would need to keep a distance, that we would need to sleep in separate bedrooms and try to reconcile some kind of friendly relationship over a period of time before we could even think about a physical relationship again, to which he agreed.
Anyway over the past six weeks we have had a few bumps in the road, which is to be expected I guess, but he began to discover things about himself through therapy and has opened up to me in a way I have never seen before and it has given me hope that our relationship could be salvaged.
Two nights ago we slept together for the first time. It was a big deal for me and I genuinely felt a strong emotional and physical connection with him and felt so happy that afterwards I told him I loved him. I have found it extremely difficult to say these words for a long time, due to the problems in our marriage and I know he has wanted me to say it for a long time. Anyway, his response was to tell me how cheesy I sounded...........
I felt absolutely humiliated and lay there in stunned silence for a few seconds before I slapped him on the back and asked why would he say something like that? He then said, oh I do love you. Then rolled over and went to sleep.
I feel so fucking angry with myself, firstly for sleeping with him and secondly telling him I loved him and putting myself into a position of complete vulnerability only to have him tell me that I sounded cheesy for saying it. I do not understand what would drive him to say that to me? he clearly can't show emotion despite telling me that he is desperate to have a close/emotional/intimate relationship. What the fuck does this man want from me? I feel like such a fool.
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Relationships
I feel completely humiliated
chimp33 · 01/11/2016 23:20
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