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Taking the lead in a relationship

(2 Posts)
advancetogo Sun 30-Oct-16 19:48:49

I've been thinking about this a fair bit since I broke up with my DP a few weeks ago.

Personally, I'm not too bothered who takes the lead in a relationship - I'm happy to lead and happy to be led. Ideally a combination of the two.

But speaking to my friend in heterosexual relationships (as I was in), it seems that most of the women in my group prefer the man to take the lead and balked at the idea of proposing themselves.

I'm not sure I completely understand why that is. I've never been married but have talked about the possibility in two relationships. And both times, we imagined it would be a case of mutually arriving to that point together and spontaneously proposing to each other in the right conversation.

Am I the only one who thinks that way? Or maybe I just need to meet different friends!

QuiltedAloeVera Sun 30-Oct-16 19:56:17

I think you'd be mad to say 'Yes, I'll marry you' before having had quite a few conversations about things like whether / how many kids, where to live, career aspirations, ideas about how kids would be looked after, ideas about how to manage money, ideas about why to get married and how being married would be different to cohabiting/dating/whatever you call it.

But some people still like the idea of a romantic proposal so they do all the talking and then some time - weeks, months - later the bloke does the 'official' proposal which they tell everyone about.

Whatever floats your boat.

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