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Waning Desire

(3 Posts)
Ogri99 Thu 27-Oct-16 16:36:14

Hi there,

No prizes for originality I'm sure, but I'm in a quandry and would like advice from experienced souls who may have been where I am now. Basically, my wife and I seem to have parted ways sexually over the last few years. We have a great relationship and can occasionally have good sexual encounters, but I feel she is increasingly compliant rather than actively passionate and our relationship is increasingly fuelled by companionship rather than desire. Call me shallow, but passion is very important for me and the idea that someone I still feel so passionate about can take me or leave me is quite deflating. I am generally a confident and outgoing man and have discussed the issue as openly as possible, but my wife has been quite evasive and non- committal and I don't want to harangue her on the topic.

Judging by physical initiation as an indicator of interest, our ratio is probably 10 to 1, with my wife taking the lead probably less than 2 or 3 times a year. This is a very different story from when we first met. She is quite sexually experienced, but I don't think there are external factors at play.

What do I do? I'm quite inventive, open and loving, but I feel I'm watching the flame of our once great passion dwindle.


adora1 Thu 27-Oct-16 16:40:24

Well I'd not want sex with someone who was just going along with it and it sounds like she is by what you write.

I'd take sex off the table completely and try talking about it and finding out what her problem is, if she truly loves you she will want to work at it and have a full and satisfying sex life, if not, you may have to re-evaluate your whole future with her.

TheNaze73 Thu 27-Oct-16 20:31:08

Has she tried sex counselling?? Is she willing to establish what her issues are, or indeed what yours are that's causing her to be like this?
This is unsustainable, sex & money are the two biggest causes of divorce in the Uk & this is where you two will end up, if you don't address this

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