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How likely is this do you think to be true?

(89 Posts)
Humblebee1 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:14:48

My DP met OW on dating site, whilst working away weekdays. She lived in same town. He admits to texting up to twice a week for four months but says they only ever met up once, and that is when she asked him to her house at 1.00 am and he went and spent night. I found out three weeks later after finding texts on his work phone from her after he badly insulted me.

She never knew we were together. Is is realistic to think after exchanging numbers, snapchats you would wait all that time to meet in flesh? I would say most women would smell a rat and therefore he must have met her more.?? He swears he met her just once and felt awful.

adora1 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:19:21

Nope he's a liar, sorry.

he's a peach, cheating on both of you.

Hotwaterbottle1 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:22:30

He is minimising it far too much. I'd not believe this at all sorry.

HouseworkIsASin10 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:23:24

No chance, he'd have been straight round there.

missyB1 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:25:20

Once or a hundred times he's still a lying rat and a cheat.
I wouldn't believe a word he said.

TheNaze73 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:26:23

It's remotely possible however, I doubt it in this case.

loobyloo1234 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:27:19

Bullshit I'm afraid OP. Cheaters only ever minimise these things and tell you the absolute least about number of times

Have you dumped him yet? hmm

myfriendnigel Wed 26-Oct-16 15:28:27

Doesn't sound plausible to me, sorry.
And The first time she met him was at 1am at her house? You would hardly be going to meet a new love interest for the first time at 1 in the morning-you'd arrange a drink in the earlier evening surely?

BlueFolly Wed 26-Oct-16 15:29:50

Hang on, HE WAS ON A DATING SITE and thinks he can conjure
up a scenario that is least bad?

That involves full on premeditation. Who cares how many times they met up?

shaggedthruahedgebackwards Wed 26-Oct-16 15:34:57

Doesn't sound believable in the slightest

Nor does the twice weekly texting

Humblebee1 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:38:18

I don't think so either but he as adamant that is how it was and he said she was probably in contact with others from the site over that time and that it was just shit talked between them on and off. Then he admitted they were texting about twice a week for four months.
He is currently out of the home and looks highly likely he will remain out. I still really would like him to tell me the truth. I know I'm being dumb but we have a family and I want to know because I will have to come to terms with all this whether we're together or not.

adora1 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:46:12

He won't tell you OP, sorry, but what he has said is complete lies.

Glad you kicked his cheating arse out.

4 months talking shit, sex once, hardly.

Peach9876 Wed 26-Oct-16 15:57:45

What a dickhead! I can't understand what is so difficult about either remaining faithful to your partner or leaving the relationship.
I'm glad that you haven't taken this 'excuse' and tried to work things out. He really isn't worth it.
Chances are he is lying, but only he (and her) know the truth and neither are likely to tell you.

ItShouldHaveBeenJess Wed 26-Oct-16 15:58:04

OP. When I found out about OW, they had 'met up once'. It 'wasn't serious'. It was 'a mistake'.

The only mistake made was that I believed him. Ditch.

myfriendnigel Wed 26-Oct-16 16:04:11

He's unlikely to ever tell you the truth op. Just a watered down version. It's very hard to stop wondering about it all-I speak from experience-but you have to try or else it will just do your head in.

Lweji Wed 26-Oct-16 16:06:07

Does it matter how many times it was?

He planned it and he went to her. That would be enough for me.

user1474627704 Wed 26-Oct-16 16:09:30

Could be true, easily. But what does it matter?

adora1 Wed 26-Oct-16 16:11:30

When you are in that situation you already feel a fool and just want the full sordid story; that can bother you more than the actual deed but as has been said, 9 times out of 10 you never do find out.

QuiteLikely5 Wed 26-Oct-16 16:12:32

Have you checked his location setting on his phone? It will tell you exactly how many times he visited her home........this is on iPhone not sure about other phones

ToujeoQueen Wed 26-Oct-16 16:12:35

He was on a dating site. There's your answer there, ltb.

BlueFolly Wed 26-Oct-16 16:41:21

Thing is, some people do talk for ages on dating sites before they meet up. People do that because they are either time wasters, or for some reason really, really, cautious about meeting up; they are risk averse.

Meeting someone for for the first time for sex at 1am is the sort of thing that someone who enjoys taking risks would do.

Humblebee1 Wed 26-Oct-16 16:58:48

bluefolly, what do you mean then, because she would be cautious to not meet him right away and they texted for four months, then enjoyed excitement of risking having him in her home for first time at 1am. She is a single mum as well. Does not add up.!

Lweji Wed 26-Oct-16 17:08:16

Why are you worrying about those details?
You know he was talking to her and you know he went there.
How is it different if he had sex with her once or 20 times?

ItShouldHaveBeenJess Wed 26-Oct-16 17:24:46

bluefolly I don't really get your response either. How can he be risk adverse if he's risked his relationship to contact her?

OP. He's cheated, once or a thousand times - it is no longer relevant and nor is she. What matters now is how YOU feel about what happens next.

AyeAmarok Wed 26-Oct-16 17:28:16

Doesn't really matter though, OP.

He was on a dating site, trying to arrange to cheat on you. Actively pursuing an affair.

Whether he managed to only succeed once of a hundred times makes no difference.

Look after yourself.

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