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Should I cut ties??

(7 Posts)
Attheendofmytether1 Wed 26-Oct-16 09:18:15

Background - I've been with my DH for 23 years and have 4 school age DC. Five years ago DH admitted to an affair and my life fell apart. Before this I had work friends etc but didn't really socialise except with my DH.
A work colleague came to see me just after all this happened. I was 3 weeks post csection birth of our 4th DC.
I was afraid of being alone and asked her if I cld go with her to her hobby (big move for me as I'm quite socially akward).
Through her I met a great group of friends BUT every now and then she decides to blank me and ignore calls and texts and says frankly she has too much in her life to bother with everyone. I was the one she told first that her DM had cancer and I was there for her for the three years till her DM passed.
She has at times been downright rude to me, hates me to be happy and is only interested when I'm in a bad place with my DH (we are reconciling but it's not easy).
Now she has gone a step further and blocked me on FB and when I tried to ask why she has blocked my calls. This has made my depression and anxiety sky high.
My instinct is to run far away but if I do I will probably end up cutting ties with all of my friends. She does this to others but I seen to have a personality that makes it 100 times worse.
I haven't eaten for two days now and am seeing my GP later for help but I feel so stupid.

Joysmum Wed 26-Oct-16 09:39:09

Why shouldn't you cut ties? She makes you anxious and it's a one sided friendship which isn't really a friendship at all.

Attheendofmytether1 Wed 26-Oct-16 09:42:40

It's just if I cut ties I will probably end up with no friends but I'm thinking better that than making myself unwell. My mum (who lives abroad) and DH think it's stupid to give up my hobby (it's a team) because of her but I don't think I could face seeing her weekly

IreallyKNOWiamright Wed 26-Oct-16 10:16:06

She isn't the one your dh had an affair with by any chance? Odd behaviour &sounds like guilt to me

Attheendofmytether1 Wed 26-Oct-16 10:49:48

No definitely not. She just only seems happy if she is making someone else unhappy or revelling in gossip. She HATES my DH but wld also say things like 'no wonder he cheated you're hard work'.

basketcasemother Wed 26-Oct-16 12:38:42

I think you should just distance yourself from her. Be cordial/ friendly enough to not make a big issue of it but don't contact her or make plans with her outside your team activity. That way you can still keep all your friends but not have to deal with her as a close friend. Nobody with half an ounce of compassion would ever say 'no wonder he cheated on you' to anybody let alone somebody they consider a friend, she sounds a selfish, self centred horror bag!

Attheendofmytether1 Wed 26-Oct-16 12:44:08

Thank you and I know that's what I should do. My anxiety is screaming in my head to run far far away. I think I need to get that sorted first. I'm sitting here heart pounding at the thought of it all

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