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Left abusive ex, now stuck with him again

(7 Posts)
twirlymuma Tue 25-Oct-16 09:49:56

In a bit of a situation. I left my emotionally abusive ex last Monday. Our 4 month LB then got rushed to hospital the Tuesday. He had reacted to his injections and had a viral infection on top. My ex OH did stay elsewhere weds-Friday. Then our LB got rushed to hospital again Saturday and stayed in until yesterday. He has bronchitis and was struggling to breathe.
Obviously this has upset us both and been a massive strain on both of us. We got on fine while he was in hospital and we're both there for our boy.
I still don't want to be with him but I have PND and really struggling with our LB due to his illness and he's allergic to cows milk. Hasn't been an easy 4 months. I think he knows I'm struggling and jumping on that to help anyway he can to get back in my life. I don't have any other support.
I don't know what to do because I know in a few weeks or months the pattern of abuse will begin again but how do I go about support but not being will him?

Tryingmybest4them Tue 25-Oct-16 11:12:05

Hi op,
I'm so sorry to hear about your little boy, I hope he is on the mend.
I have just ended things with my abusive DH so kind of know how you feel although I do not have PND or a poorly baby.
Have you told your health visitor what is going on with the abuse and poorly ds? They should be able to support you and also refer you to family support where you will get loads of help.
Please don't take him back, I would be having a conversation with him so he knows he is there for his soon, not for you flowers

Tryingmybest4them Tue 25-Oct-16 11:12:45

*son not soon

twirlymuma Tue 25-Oct-16 12:39:29

Thank you. He is now on the mend. Well my ex OH mentioned it to the nurses so he could stay and help me as only 1 of us could and I couldn't do it alone and wanted to be there for our baby. The nurses have now contacted my HV and are going to contact me and give me support. Bit weary though I don't want to be watched over as I can normally look after my son when he's not poorly. I've heard things from other mums who say they just sit and observe. Have you been referred?
I think I do need to sit down with him and have a chat

twirlymuma Tue 25-Oct-16 16:18:41

Any other advice please?

Tryingmybest4them Tue 25-Oct-16 20:12:01

Hi again
That's great that they are contacting hv for you, they won't just sit and observe, a good hv will be a shoulder to cry on then help you sort it out. Depending on where in the country you are you may get Homestart which is where a volunteer comes and helps out with whatever you need them to from shopping to washing ir just a listening ear.
Does the hv know about the DA?

Tryingmybest4them Tue 25-Oct-16 20:14:21

In a see to your question I haven't been referred but I work in that field, they will only want to help and support you, not judge you flowers

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