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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

A year on: thank you to those people who responded

4 replies

MagikarpetRide · 24/10/2016 09:27

Just over a year ago I fell out with a friend. The kind people here made me realise I'd somehow got suckered into the perpetrator-victim-rescuer triangle with her, which not only made me see everything a lot clearer, but made me realise I needed to stay away from her.

Over the last year there's been a few issues with her trying to 'get back at me for being a nasty bully'. I decided to rise above it when confronted by just saying that I wasn't really sure what she wanted from me but clearly we don't work as friends so I've stepped away. Thankfully I've not lost any other friends over this, I'm hoping those responses have gone a long way toward it.

In the build up to our fall out I'd had some health issues and had gotten to the point where my hair was losing colour or falling out in chunks and had sought out treatment for anxiety.

Here I am now a lot healthier. I've been through a few autoimmune flares but the anxiety hasn't run as rampant, my hair is growing back and regained its colour. Im able now to trust other people when they ask for my help or advice that they're not playing games. I put a lot of this difference down to not suffering the stresses of that friendship so I owe you all a massive load of CakeWineFlowers and Star

Thank you so much

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springydaffs · 24/10/2016 09:31

Brilliant update!

Well done for tackling her - not easy - and staying firm. Bravo!

Thanks for coming back to update Flowers

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WotcherHarry · 24/10/2016 09:31

I didn't see your original thread or know of your situation, but it's always good to hear that someone has overcome troubled situations :) many good wishes to you, that is great news!
I have had friendships like this myself and it puts a huge emotional pressure on you. As I've got older and learnt that it's okay to put up healthy boundaries it has improved my quality of friendships to no end. All the best!

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ChuckBiscuits · 24/10/2016 09:35

Well done you. Now make sure you stay healthy and happy.

Flowers

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MagikarpetRide · 24/10/2016 10:15

Would have helped if I'd changed user names back too der! Blush

The help was really invaluable to me at a time I wasn't too well and seriously doubting myself.

Some of the stunts she pulled before we fell out, which I found out about afterwards, were pretty unforgivable. It's been hard to hold my tongue but she thrived on reaction. It's been a while since she tried anything directly and if she's still at it through mutual friends they've long since bothered asking or telling me. My guess is she's found a new person to sucker in. Poor them

No friend is worth your hair, even if your hair is crapGrin

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