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All over

(9 Posts)
user1474231486 Sun 23-Oct-16 22:27:48

So I posted here before a while back about husband having what I thought was affair, multiple phones etc- but not really admitting anything. I was hoping we could work it out. He's left. It's over. It never stopped between them. They are now shacking up. She's 23.
Even when I thought we were trying they were still at it.
I feel sick and disgusted to my core.
Any and all advice welcome. Very very low.
When does it get easier?

whensitmyturn Sun 23-Oct-16 22:35:37

I'm really sorry this has happened to you, I'm over a year on and it definitely gets easier.
You are going to feel sad and disgusted for a while and then the raging anger will hit if it hasn't already, I used to almost not be able to stand up with how angry I felt.

I Still have low days but they are much less than they were and have had 'silver linings ' lovely things that have happened or I have done that I never would have if this hadn't happened. ( in no way am I glad he had an affair but these are some positives that have been in the last year e.g mini break with a friend, new hobby, new friends, I've lost weight, redecorated my bedroom to make it exactly for me a 'sanctuary ' I suppose.

Are you married? Do you have dc's?

TheNaze73 Sun 23-Oct-16 22:39:50

Why is her age relevant for context?

timelytess Sun 23-Oct-16 22:41:27

It starts to get easier within a few weeks or months, when you realise the bills are paid and nothing dreadful has happened. But I think it might have taken 25 years for me to be 'over it'. And even then, if I'm reminded, it comes back.

whensitmyturn Sun 23-Oct-16 23:02:02

Great insightful post TheNaze hope she finds comfort in all the advice and understanding you offered her hmm

user1474231486 Sun 23-Oct-16 23:47:46

Thanks whenisitmyturn and timelyness. A little girl at home and pregnant with another. Married yes.
Just crushed. Feeling angry/sad/upset everything. Just numb and worried about future.
I would have literally done anything for him. He was my absolute everything.

LIttleTripToHeaven Mon 24-Oct-16 07:56:49

Well the OP mentioned her age so she feels it's relevant. I suppose TheNaze was just wondering why.

user the fact he has done this means he is a complete dick. Having an affair is one thing, but letting you think you were working things through and carrying it on is appalling.

Do you have friends and family for support in real life?

whatyouseeiswhatyouget Mon 24-Oct-16 08:11:45

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

MissPathetic30 Mon 24-Oct-16 08:18:18

I feel for you love. I thought me and my ex at one point was working through it, come to find out they'd never even broken up. It still gets to me some days and I feel so angry, as I had to go through my last pregnancy by myself, but in the early days I begged and did the pick me dance, don't do this love if you can it never works, you'll only seem desperate in their eyes. Don't even speak to the OW ever, any woman that can sleep with a man when he has a pregnant wife or gf is lowest person alive. Mind you his missus brought me cards, cake and little outfits for my son, what a b****. So find your anger, even if you love him still like mad. Fix yourself up don't make yourself look unkempt. When the chit hit the fan in my house I looked awful, hair uncombed, baggy clothes and my mum pulled me to one side and said look I saw 'her' and she was dressed nice, laughing, being happy. They're happy, don't you dare give them your life, she made me get in that shower and put myself together. It was hard with the kids, but I started small, they're not moping around about you. I was giving so much head space to them from the moment I woke up till I fell asleep. Cry get angry but you are a good person, chit happens, you will get over this and if you're lucky he'll beg you back one day or you'll have front row tickets to the collapse of their love affair. You're stronger than u know, u will get through this, hugs xxx

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