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Should I?

(14 Posts)
Molly333 Sat 22-Oct-16 21:09:47

Im going to tell you the whole story and then decide what you would do please

Been a single mum for ten years raised my son and daughter completly alone no support at all , no family , no ex support ( I left a horrible abusive marriage of which my family thought I should hv kept quiet) . Anyways it's been hard but I've managed kept my home and done a degree . Over a year ago I met someone , a lovely kind utterly supportive man who I decided to buy a house with ( sell mine , protect my money and him take a mortgage for the rest) .

However I'm hving doubts ; should my name be on the extra mortgage ( it means my names on a 140000 mortgage as opposed to mine 40000 mortgage ? He also has teenage sons one of whom
Is very miserable and negative and argues ( I don't hv that in my life now , my kids are manageable ) . He's a nice kind loving man who I feel safe with but what would you do ? Part of me is worried im making a mistake because I'm sick of no support , loneliness and it being bloody hard to work properly with childcare etc

KeepCoolCalmAndCollected Sat 22-Oct-16 21:13:19

The short answer is no, not after only one year of knowing someone, you have got too much to lose at stake here.

Pickanameanyoldname Sat 22-Oct-16 21:15:24

Keep your house and live together for a trial period first before you commit to a mortgage with someone you've never lived with.

ImperialBlether Sat 22-Oct-16 21:20:07

I don't think you should risk a thing with your money and I wouldn't move in with someone if his child is unhappy. You have only known each other a year and can afford to wait a while.

HappyJanuary Sat 22-Oct-16 22:10:54

Could you rent somewhere together first? Much easier to extricate yourself if it goes wrong.

TheNaze73 Sat 22-Oct-16 22:20:31

After only a year? I think that's not enough time to really know someone & take that sort of risk

SleepingTiger Sat 22-Oct-16 22:51:25

A lot depends if you marry him (assuming UK). Then you start out 50/50. But with an overwhelming favour towards kids, and the younger more so.

Depends a lot I know on what equity you have and what your future earning power is.

Not enough here to say. But welcome to be PM'd.

Dowser Sat 22-Oct-16 23:53:31

No I wouldn't.

His child would be a big no no.
I'd wait until the child leaves home.
Dh and I only moved in together when my son and grandson moved out....and that was after a year on my own.

If in doubt do nowt.

Molly333 Sun 23-Oct-16 02:57:38

Added info- I hv the deposit of 280000 from my house so that would be going into the house ( legally protected by a deed of trust) , he's coming with no money but taking on the mortgage .

also the miserable child is really putting me off , my kids are generally happy but also excited about moving . God this is a mess and ive got a surveyer round Tuesday I hv to say something before then, I'm going to let everyone down here arrgh

ddrmum Sun 23-Oct-16 07:32:23

Stay where you are. Keep your house and as already suggested and rent somewhere for a couple of years. A year is not enough time to really know the person. If his son is causing you concern now, living together could be a nightmare.

ohdearme1958 Sun 23-Oct-16 07:35:23

OP, this is way much way too soon. For you. And certainly for your children.

You've done fabulously well over the last decade. Please don't throw it all away now.

saintagur Sun 23-Oct-16 07:44:33

Agree with previous posters, don't do it. Even if there is a Deed of Trust if there is a shortfall on sale, the mortgagee will take your money to pay off the loan as you are the only one putting equity into the property. You are taking all of the risk here.

Mantis1975 Sun 23-Oct-16 11:09:40

I'd agree with previous posters.
This is a big risk and you really have to be sure about it before making such a huge step.

benbry Sun 23-Oct-16 12:08:35

Don't do it OP, if it doesn't work you're in all sorts of bother.

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