Talk

Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Over thinking?

(13 Posts)
Wonky66 Fri 21-Oct-16 22:13:26

I have name changed for this (I hope) as I don't want any possible replies to prejudice their replies.

Basically me and DP were both searching for a particular car he's looking to buy on our individual phone's. He offered me his phone and as I was trying to access the dealers website (new window) he became very 'shifty' and grabbed his phone back 😏. I was a bit WTAF? and ten mins later he came back and said " I panicked as I had been looking for a treat/ surprise for you, for this weekend and didn't want you to see".

I left it at that, but yesterday I asked what was the surprise? Apparently it was a facial/ beauty treatment search (not me) and since he has decided it's not me so has done nowt and also can't remember where he has looked.

I guess what I'm asking is.. Am I being too suspicious or ??

FeedMeAndTellMeImPretty Fri 21-Oct-16 23:23:02

Porn?

If that is all you have to go on I wouldn't automatically think it was anything more sinister than that.

Did he actually say the facial was for you or did he just say he'd been searching for a facial? wink

ImperialBlether Fri 21-Oct-16 23:25:21

Has he behaved differently in the last few months? Changed his behaviour in any way?

MrHannahSnell Fri 21-Oct-16 23:49:01

My first thought would be porn rather than an OW. Has his behaviour changed recently?

JoJoSM2 Sat 22-Oct-16 00:02:41

I'd be suspicious. Has his behaviour been ok otherwise?

TheNaze73 Sat 22-Oct-16 07:58:15

Overthinking nothing here

AddToBasket Sat 22-Oct-16 07:59:33

No, you are not overthinking.

chattygranny Sat 22-Oct-16 08:01:15

It could be something simple like looking up an old girlfriend's profile on Facebook or porn as PP says. But if it were serious surely he wouldn't have forgotten for long enough to pass you the phone in the first place. Don't let it eat you up.

Cabrinha Sat 22-Oct-16 08:48:15

I'm with the others that it could be porn rather than an affair.
But I don't think it's nothing.

If that were me or my boyfriend, we'd be grabbing it giggling "nooooooo - you can't see something winkgrin" if it was a surprise. (there's a toaster open on mine that I wouldn't want him to see yet!) We'd be laughing not panicking.

And we wouldn't take 10 minutes to come up with an excuse.

Does he ever surprise you? Is it remotely believable?

And is there anyway he would be looking up beauty treatments for you? I'd know that was a lie if my boyfriend said it - like you, it's "not me" and he knows it.

And if it was all true - I'd think it was a bit shitty to basically tell you there was a surprise coming this weekend, then not bother hmm

Why don't you tell him it was clearly bullshit so what was he hiding?

Cabrinha Sat 22-Oct-16 08:48:56

Interesting that you name changed to avoid bias. Which means this is probably not your only issue?

Wonky66 Sat 22-Oct-16 09:38:16

Thank you to all that replied.

Regarding it being porn, he has always said that he uses porn, so I doubt it was that - given his over-reaction.

He does get 'jumpy' if he's handed me his phone to look at something and he gets a message (has it set to no notification, so although it will ping, nothing shows to say who it is). He also lets me use his laptop, but as a guest user- again he said that it's not that he doesn't trust me, but that I might see something that was meant to be a surprise hmm.

He changed networks recently and I was helping him to sort it out. I said you need to do XYZ, which is when he turned away from me so that I couldn't see his phone ( my first thought was that he has apps on there that he shouldn't)

Cabrinha , no he's not one for doing 'surprises' as he says I'm difficult to choose for, and yes there has been a particular issue previously. It's funny, because up until a few weeks ago he had my passwords for phone and iPad, as I have nothing to hide, but when I caught him looking through my phone without asking, I changed them (didn't tell him and he hasn't mentioned it)

I should have asked there and then what he was hiding, but didn't want to come across as nosey confused.

Tarttlet Sat 22-Oct-16 12:01:57

"He does get 'jumpy' if he's handed me his phone to look at something and he gets a message (has it set to no notification, so although it will ping, nothing shows to say who it is). He also lets me use his laptop, but as a guest user- again he said that it's not that he doesn't trust me, but that I might see something that was meant to be a surprise"

That doesn't sound great...

Chewingthecrud Sat 22-Oct-16 12:03:45

Guilty

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now