I'll try to keep this fairly short. We have 2 primary school age DC and live closely to both sets of GP. Both sides have been involved in their upbringing/seeing them regularly and we always make the effort to visit and phone.
It has always been apparent that my IL's do a lot more for their other 2 GC who are of similar age. Think babysitting, trips out, buying clothes etc. They also help BIL/SIL out financially and buy lots of things for their house and fund improvements. They are also very generous towards us and our children but we are not offered the same level of 'help'. This isn't a huge problem as we work hard and can manage to fund our own lives. I love my inlaws and appreciate they are kind and generous people.
IL's help out one afternoon per week collecting our DC from school and watching them for 2 hrs. They look after other GC every weekend Fri/Sat which means we are unable to ask for babysitting as they won't say no to others and 4 DC are too much for them to cope with. My DC are now noticing that they are not "allowed" to stay overnight and that they are not being treated the same. It's always been this way and my MIL just tells them they can stay another time. It does happen occasionally, prob 2-3 times per year.
It is now very noticeable that my DP's are doing almost the exact same with my DN. Less sleepovers but spending a lot more time, offering babysitting and buying expensive trainers and items related to a hobby. My DD asked me the other day why granny had their cousins as a screensaver on her phone/iPad but not her or her brother. They see a lot more of my siblings DC as they have been looked after 2 x days a week since birth which also means my DC have not got the same close relationship with them. My DM (who I love dearly) said she couldn't look after my DC when they were tiny as she was already committed with the other two and work. I understood this and arranged alternative childcare.
This has all come to a head in my mind this week and I feel so resentful and tearful. I have a close relationship with all parents and don't want to cause a shit-storm. BUT, my DC clearly feel lower down the pecking order and I can't have that. I reassure them that their GP love them very much but they are noticing the inequalities. My DH and I have a happy marriage and are both of the same opinion. I think GP feel we don't need much in the way of support - we would just like it to be more fair.
Do we say anything to them?
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DC being treated less favourably than their cousins...
12 replies
Whitewhine89 · 21/10/2016 09:40
OP posts:
MiaowTheCat ·
21/10/2016 15:24
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