She's more than once expressed her disappointment that I only stayed an hour and a half and left before it even got going. I made a crappy excuse that my dh was locked out and that I had to go home to let him in & that I'd return later....only I didn't. The lie was all I could think up on the spot. I didn't want to spoil her happy time and make a scene. There were only 9 of us there at the time I left. Here's what really happened:
Myself, birthday girl (bg) and three others (one of whom has alcohol issues) got a cab to the West End. Bg had hired a bar and was expecting around 80 to turn up. We arrived at 8.30 and were joined by 4 others. The night was young but the party was quiet-ish with only 9 of us there at the start. We all sat around a table chatting and laughing but bg ended up moving to the bar as new people arrived with gifts etc. So I'm sitting with 4 others, to my right is bg's boss from work, to my left is our mutual friend who proceeds to break the Guiness Book of Records for getting totally & utterly arseholed. It wasn't pleasant. Anyway, me & the boss are sharing a banquette but are both leaning into the table we're all sat at. Suddenly I quite definately feel a thumb graze my buttock. I jumped slightly, my spidee senses on alert, looked her boss in the eye but he gives nothing away and I put it down to pure accident....Then it happens again, but more deliberate this time. I felt really uncomfortable because there was no flirting going on and we were all in converation together. The 3rd time it happened, I wanted to grab the offending hand and tug it into the air and say 'Whose hand is this touching up my bottom?' I was really angry but also intimidated. I was badly sexually abused when I was younger and I lack the self-esteem to shout out. I decided I'd had enough, between the toucher-upper and Mrs completely-piefaced I was having a miserable time, I was really stressed. There were only about 16 people there when I got up to leave and it would have soured the atmosphere if I'd said anything, never mind making things uncomfortable for my friend at work. So I'm ashamed to say I got up and told her I had to leave as my dh was locked out but that I hoped she has a lovely evening. She pressed me to not be too long and would wait for me to return to cut her cake. I felt awful knowing I wasn't returning but I couldn't get out of there fast enough. The bg complained to me the next day that so few people turned up and she wanted to know why I didn't return. (I had hoped she'd be partying so hard she wouldn't notice), I then lied further and said my dh had had to attend to his elderly dm and so I was left with the young dc & couldn't return. I hate myself for lying and not having the balls to confront that man but in the moment I didn't know what else to do. In the end, only about 35 people turned up, she's still a bit pissed with me, shall I tell her?
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Relationships
Shall I tell my friend the real reason why I left her 40th b'day party early?
Tinytilly · 19/10/2016 19:21
I know it can be uncomfortable to address this kind of thing when you suffered a previous trauma. I've been there. But you did nothing wrong. You gracefully excused yourself from an intolerable situation. I think you should tell her 
She's quite a feisty person. I'd hate for her to confront her boss. I can just guess he'd go 'No I never! Your friend's mad' 
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