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Kicked him out this morning. Hand hold please.

(203 Posts)
EndOfLongTether Tue 18-Oct-16 11:05:50

Long term poster (from before the Moldies saga) namechanged because there are friends on here who know my regular NN.

DH has been drinking in binges for a very long time. I suffered it for years and tried to keep a normal facade for the benefit of DC, but now the oldest understands what is going on. After last night when he showed up drunk, aggressed her, then banged the door and went out without a word, she said "Mummy, I don't feel good in this house anymore. I never know if he will come home like this in the evening" sad He stumbled home at 5 AM.

I woke him up earlier and told him to pack a bag and leave. He was still laughing and said I was exaggerating, it was all a bit of fun. It's not fun at all for me & DC. He left. I don't know if he took a bag.

I'm feeling wobbly.

Blue2014 Tue 18-Oct-16 11:08:24

Hand holding, it sounds like things have been horrible for you

BusterGonad Tue 18-Oct-16 11:11:21

Has he got a key? Will he be able to get back in? Sounds like a awful situation. Make sure you and your children are safe. X

EndOfLongTether Tue 18-Oct-16 11:13:28

He has a key but I didn't get the impression that he was eager to come back from the way he slammed the door on his way out.

GizmoFrisby Tue 18-Oct-16 11:14:35

Hope your ok OP. What you have done is brave and takes a lot of guts. You have done the right thing. You deserve better and so does your dd. flowersbrewcake

He obviously has issues and you need to be strong for your dd and keep him away.

user1476785603 Tue 18-Oct-16 11:15:51

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

BusterGonad Tue 18-Oct-16 11:17:35

Who does user?

EndOfLongTether Tue 18-Oct-16 11:17:51

And you sound like my "D"H. He called me & DD "cunts" as I was putting them to bed.

So much for name changing sad

Penfold007 Tue 18-Oct-16 11:19:13

user shock

BusterGonad Tue 18-Oct-16 11:20:15

EndOf if that's what he calls you and your daughters then he's better off out of the house, unless he can turn things around in regards to the drinking then you've done the right thing x

Penfold007 Tue 18-Oct-16 11:20:26

OP it might be worth speaking to the police and reporting the abuse and def worth speak to women's aid

Scoose Tue 18-Oct-16 11:20:37

Takes one to know one user now run along there's a love

Scoose Tue 18-Oct-16 11:21:32

It sounds like you are well rid EndOf

skyyequake Tue 18-Oct-16 11:23:15

I agree about contacting Women's Aid... I don't have any experience with alcoholics so just offering a hand hold flowers

BusterGonad Tue 18-Oct-16 11:23:40

I think User has finished its snack break at school and is back in it's lessons! lol

PipersPiping Tue 18-Oct-16 11:24:44

He called you and your daughter cunts? Thats unforgivable. Im sorry you're going through this, it will be hard but worth it in the end.

hellsbellsmelons Tue 18-Oct-16 11:25:07

Wow - that's a wake-up call from your DD.
It must have been so hard for the both of you.
I hope he stays away.
Keep strong and keep going.
You know you are doing the right thing for you and DD.
Living with an alcoholic must be so so awful.
And nice use of language from him too!
Can you get to Al-Anon meetings? It might help you through this horrible time.
Well done - keep him gone and live a nice peaceful life, not treading on eggshells or dreading the key in the door.

And user1476785603 if you are her disgusting, alcoholic, vile, abusive husband - you can fuck right off you feckin' loser!
Go ahead and ruin your own life but not that of your DW and poor DC!!!

OP - I'll report that post and hope MNHQ can block him as well!

BusterGonad Tue 18-Oct-16 11:27:52

Op if you can get those locks changed ASAP, this man sounds vile!

FunkyChunk Tue 18-Oct-16 11:28:46

I've reported User's post. You did the right thing OP flowers

DreamingofItaly Tue 18-Oct-16 11:29:12

Hand hold from me. Sounds like you're doing the right thing for your family. flowers

And user you can do one. What a vile thing to say.

skyyequake Tue 18-Oct-16 11:29:32

Would you be able to change the locks Endof? Is he on the lease/deeds? Or do you have a security chain you can put on? That's what I did when I chucked XP out - he wasn't a drinker but it did scare me that he had a key and the chain made me feel secure till I got the keys back!

EndOfLongTether Tue 18-Oct-16 11:29:36

You are right, I need to keep strong and keep going.

Up until now, I kept managing his drinking "for the children" but now that DC understand and get agitated by his horrible behaviour, it is not possible to manage and doesn't seem to be in their interest to continue as we have been doing.

He is a good man and a doting father when he is not drunk.

GizmoFrisby Tue 18-Oct-16 11:34:32

Ignore user,what a prick!

EndOfLongTether Tue 18-Oct-16 11:35:06

He is not on the lease. There is a security chain and I can change the locks, I suppose, but don't want the drama in front of DC if he tries to open the door and can't.

I don't think he will but don't know what I will do if he does.

AttilaTheMeerkat Tue 18-Oct-16 11:36:53

He may well be a "good man and father" when he is not drunk but honestly how often is he fully sober now?.

Have you as yet sought legal advice, this is something I would not consider doing.

You've all lived with this for a long time; now the recovery from his alcoholism starts. It will take you a long time to get over this; alcoholism does not just affect the alcoholic but the whole family. You have all been profoundly affected by his drinking. It took your DDs comments to finally say enough.

Keep him gone and if he wants to see his children in future I would formalise all arrangements on a legal footing.

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