Ive been reading mumsnet for absolutely ages but I never thought Id join.
Some of the threads have made me laugh and others made me sad.
Others have been full full of good advice. Thats why I have joined and hope to get some of that myself.
The history bit first: About 2 years ago I became quite unwell and was told I had cardiac failure.
This is something that usually happens to old people so it was quite a nasty surprise.
It hasn't improved and its actually got a lot worst.
I don't have much mobility and cant do most of what I used to do.
My lovely husband has been fantastic.
He does absolutely everything in the house. Looks after our teenage lad, cooks, cleans washes, irons, you name it. He also holds down a full time job and he has never complained once.
The problem I have though is that I am not able to give him an intimate physical relationship. It isn't temporary because I'm not going to get better (Hope to be around for a while yet though!).
I don't think this is at all fair on him, he is 44 years old, and we have had numerous conversations about it.
I really want him to have something in his life to enjoy.
It took me a while to pluck my courage up to say it but I told him I would like him to have relationships with other women so his life isn't wasted.
I cried real tears when he told me he couldn't bear to do it with any other woman.
He had tears in his eyes as well when he said it but there was something in the way he said it which made me feel something was wrong.
I confided this to my sister and she dropped me a bombshell really.
She thinks he may be attracted to other men. Apparently she seen something on our computer when booking a train ticket.
I don't think he has been with men before. He has just looked at porn. But if he is tempted I would like to tell him its ok. I cant give him a physical relationship anymore but I don't want to deny him a full life.
I don't know how to raise the subject with him though. I'm sure he might be insulted if its wrong,
Is there a right or wrong way to deal with this one?
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
A difficult question
Kahli · 17/10/2016 23:12
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