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Stuck - what do separated parents do at Christmas?

(14 Posts)
ilovehalloumi Mon 17-Oct-16 13:51:59

Please help?

ExDH and I are separated. I am in a new relationship with a woman and her and her daughter live with me.

Obviously ex wants to spend as much time with our DD over Christmas.

What is the 'norm', how do othere people manage it.

My DD is 4 and she adores my partner and her daughter. Her and ex have a good relationship. He lives close by.

How do you negotiate this? I don't know anyone in the same situation and im struggling

Myusernameismyusername Mon 17-Oct-16 13:54:46

We alternate each year from xmas eve to Boxing Day - so take turns.
We tried swapping half way through the day but the DC hates leaving their presents behind and no chance to play with things.

It works for us because on my year that I get Boxing Day we just do xmas all over again so they get 2 xmas every year

sophiestew Mon 17-Oct-16 13:58:24

We used to alternate each year, So one of us had the DC Christmas Day and the other had them either Christmas Eve or Boxing Day. Never had an argument about it.

As they got older, we tended to split the day itself, so they usually spend the morning with me and afternoon with their dad. This year I don't have to cook Christmas dinner at all grin

Johnstonbananas Mon 17-Oct-16 14:07:09

Depends on the ages of the children. You could split the day. If ExDH gets on well with you all you could even invite him over for the opening of presents and maybe some lunch?

AgainPlease Mon 17-Oct-16 14:10:56

Alternate each year with DSS. One year DH EW gets Christmas Day and we get Boxing Day and vice versa

ImperialBlether Mon 17-Oct-16 14:17:01

My ex used to come over while the children opened their presents. We had an agreement that all presents were joint, as in put under the tree with nothing to identify who bought them. When they'd opened them, he'd go back to his house.

After dinner, they would go over to his for about three hours at teatime. His girlfriend would give them her presents then.

urbandictictionary123 Mon 17-Oct-16 14:27:15

We do split day...so this year I will have them Christmas eve and Christmas day until say 1 then he will bring them back 1pm boxing day....I don't think I could not see them at all Christmas day....they are 4 and 6...when they are older we will see what they will prefer to do.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 17-Oct-16 14:51:46

My OH goes to the DC house on Xmas day morning to watch them open their presents and spend a bit of time with them.
Then he has them boxing day.
It works for him and his Ex.
For my, my DD was older and she spent most of them with me as her DDad lived abroad.

KellyBoo800 Mon 17-Oct-16 19:51:50

DSD spends christmas eve and christmas morning with one parent, then fromy midday christmas day and all of boxing day with the other - alternating every year. She doesn't get bothered about leaving behind her presents because she knows there's a pile waiting for her at the next house.

BG2015 Mon 17-Oct-16 20:11:11

We alternate each year. It took me a long time to get to that point though, about 4 years after we split.

We're supposed to alternate New Year too, but funnily that never seems to happen, strange that! hmm

stuckinny Mon 17-Oct-16 20:14:56

We split depending on what's going on. DS spends Christmas Eve until about 9pm with his dad then the night with me. Christmas morning he opens gifts with me and either spends whole day with me or goes to his dad's. This year he'll be with me the whole time but that's because we are going home to celebrate with my family (I have no family here).

Myusernameismyusername Mon 17-Oct-16 22:19:46

Oh I force a new year alternate too!

Millionreasons Tue 18-Oct-16 05:58:32

I do Christmas Day, ex does Boxing Day.

elliepac Tue 18-Oct-16 06:21:49

We split. Lunchtime Christmas Eve until Boxing day morning with one and then go to other. I did not see them on Xmas Day last year for the first time and it was tough but didn't want them having to leave family etc on Xmas Day. We also alternate New Year as well. Whoever has them Xmas has them New Year as well.

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