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How to explain another breakup to DC?

(9 Posts)
theansweris42 Mon 17-Oct-16 13:39:03

Hello again.
I've posted before about H and we're now living separately.
Told DC the house we've moved to is more suited to us and that H work stress/schedule means he's going to live nearer work for a time.
H is their step dad.
They see their Dad regularly, he lives in another city so at weekends.
The house in reality is smaller and less "posh" though the gardens nicer!
They are OK with though have wondered why now when H and I only married in Jan.
H drinks and in short is unreasonable in a few ways.
I hoped the separation would mean he works on drinking (as agreed) and we might be able to work things out.
It's early days but his behaviour and what he says to me already making me think this is very unlikely.
I feel so awful, we left their Dad Jan 2014 (abusive, I was long over him), married H Jan 2016 and now this.
I'm doing counselling, I see things much more clearly now about myself and relationships.
Is anyone wiser than I able to suggest an age appropriate way to explain, if it does come to a permanent separation?
Thank you for any suggestions.

urbandictictionary123 Mon 17-Oct-16 16:27:09

how old are your children, when you say age appropriate, it depends on their age...

theansweris42 Mon 17-Oct-16 18:18:00

Thanks urban that would've helped wouldn't it!
They are just 6 and 7.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Mon 17-Oct-16 18:20:09

Just be honest and tell them you believe you will all be happier in your own houses. Kids do trust what you tell them. They will no doubt feel your tension ease really soon.

Myusernameismyusername Mon 17-Oct-16 18:23:09

Do they actually miss him? Or just wonder? I would just sit them down and say 'ok you know H, well we have decided to keep things this way and not move back in together. Sometimes grown ups decide it's better this way and things don't work out. Things will not change, they stay exactly the same for you. I love you and daddy loves you. You can ask me anything you need to'
Answer any questions but they probably won't have many as they are quite young. One might be will they still see him but you can say he is busy and then focus on something totally different like a trip out with your family etc.
I think going forward you just need to ensure they do not meet any new partners until you are completely sure of their character

theansweris42 Mon 17-Oct-16 18:42:40

Thank you both.
I already feel less tense it IS better.
Ans user I know, I feel awful.

Myusernameismyusername Mon 17-Oct-16 18:48:37

Don't feel awful - at least it's over now. You have to look forward now. Guilt and shame are really destructive emotions x

theansweris42 Mon 17-Oct-16 18:54:14

Mind you H behaviour worse end after we got married sad

theansweris42 Mon 17-Oct-16 18:54:39

Thanks for that

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