Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Not sure where I stand

(6 Posts)
RainbowDashstolemyidentity Mon 17-Oct-16 00:03:37

I've been with DP for almost 2 years, both have kids & we don't live together. We didn't tell the kids for the first year until we were sure that it was going somewhere.
During the first year it was great, we dated (proper exciting dates) had weekends away & were v loved up.
During this last year since the kids have known the dates have slowed down, we maybe go to the cinema once every couple of weeks sometimes his son comes too & he just seems massively non plussed about us!
As the months go on he seems more distant, stops telling me stuff that he's doing (pretty major stuff like booking a holiday for him & his kids)
Today we had a "firm" arrangement to see each other I text him this morning to see what the plan was, he replied saying he was on his way out for the day sad I didn't bother replying
He's not the greatest communicator,is quite VERY forgetful and gets wrapped up in his own stuff very easily!
I guess I'm just wondering if I'm flogging a dead horse really.
I want it back to how it was I'm just not sure we can get it back

tipsytrifle Mon 17-Oct-16 00:30:07

It sounds like he's a BF rather than a DP really. I suspect that if you let that concept run in practice you will learn more about the reality than if you continue to act as if he was a partner in life. Because he doesn't really sound like he is. It's probably better to re-establish perspective now rather than later after you've expended a lot of energy into what might be a case of mistaken identity - that he is "the one".

Be frugal with your energy output at this time, would be my advice. See how it goes but retain your sense of independence and don't cling to expectations. 2yrs is not that long given there are dc involved too. Just be careful is what I'm saying.

TheNaze73 Mon 17-Oct-16 07:53:04

tipsy is spot on, 2 years really isn't that long.

Only1scoop Mon 17-Oct-16 08:00:19

I'd say he's making it pretty obvious where you 'stand' I'd say he's a BF too rather than a P
He's stopped making efforts I'd probably do the same tbh. He sounds nonplussed about making effort.

YoungGirlGrowingOld Mon 17-Oct-16 08:10:19

I hate it when they do this sad

But yes, sounds like he is not very into you any more. I suggest a tactical withdrawal - if he sharpens up his act after you have ignored him for a few weeks, maybe he was just being lazy. If not then it sounds as though the relationship has run its course.

RainbowDashstolemyidentity Mon 17-Oct-16 08:36:37

Thanks for the replies.
You're right re the BF not P bit I guess I just thought more about this relationship than he did

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now