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Sick of DH's moodiness! Says he's depressed.

(2 Posts)
ThePartyArtist Sun 16-Oct-16 09:05:15

So fed up of DH's moodiness right now!

I woke up early this morning feeling really cheery about having a nice day, even though we are preparing to move house so it was going to be a day of chores. Took DH a cup of tea in bed, offered him breakfast - I don't normally do this but it was my day off and he is going to work so I wanted to help.
Once he got up he was so grumpy, stomping about etc. and being really snappy to me. Got cross at me asking him a question so I just stopped talking to him then he got angry at me. Eventually told me he's depressed, hates his job etc. Continued to be really cross in his tone with me and my good mood quickly evaporated into tears. I've now gone from feeling really positive about the day to wanting to crawl back into bed.

I am pregnant and finding him really over protective. He is looking after me (e.g. doing the bulk of the cooking, making sure I don't have to do too much physically etc.) but also he adopts a really cross tone with me - I feel like I am being told off when he tells me not to lift things etc.

We are also moving house so it is a stressful time. Last night we tried to have a discussion about decorating and it ended in a row. He was coming up with frankly ridiculous suggestions and then complained I wasn't taking him seriously!

I think he is also disgruntled that our sex life's taken a dive. We've had sex about 3 times in the 4 months or so I've been pregnant, as I've rarely had any desire.

I am sorry he is feeling down, and I think a lot of it is his job. But I am also sick of being dragged down with him! I want to be caring but I also don't want him to be so moody with me. I hate it when he uses an angry tone of voice - I find in his family (his mum especially) this is normal and causes no offence, also their hispanic cultural heritage can be what I consider quite 'feisty'; but growing up in my family this was a big deal and so I get really upset if someone shouts or speaks in an angry tone. Every time I try to explain this he says I am over sensitive and he's just trying to express himself and talking passionately!

AttilaTheMeerkat Sun 16-Oct-16 09:21:55

What was he like before you became pregnant; just as moody then also?.

If he is depressed then he now needs help from the GP rather than taking it all out on you as his supposed nearest and dearest. What is he going to do about his problems?. I would examine how he behaves to others in the outside world, does he or has he done similar to them or is this really confined to you and you only?. You may be looking at the possibility he is not depressed at all but is using depression as an excuse to act like an arse towards you.

The fact that he calls you over sensitive is also a red flag; he is abdicating his own responsibility for his actions onto you.

I do not like the sound of this at all; he has learnt a lot of damaging stuff on relationships from his family of origin, particularly his mother. Its not a cultural thing either, he grew up within such a family and regards this as normal behaviour.

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