I've cocked up with ex MIL over Britain First - oops!

[Jemimapyjamas]

I think I need to vent as I am half feeling defensive and half embarrassed...

Ex MIL is very gregarious and we have a good relationship. She can be quite tactless but is a good person, and we have a strong history and get on well. (She's not a formal MIL, but I was with her son for over ten years.)
Anyway... she keeps posting things on FB by groups like Britain First or general posts about how Islam is taking over the country and stories about refugees sexually assaulting women. She isn't someone I would think of as especially ignorant or racist normally but I do think she might be easily led and not question things.

Two days ago we had a story about how a school failed its OFSTED inspection because 'it was too white' (a quick Google showed this was a massively twisted version of something) followed by another about Angela Merkel being the 'traitor of europe.' So I texted her, I deliberately didn't do it via FB so someone could see, and asked her what on earth made her think BF was worth listening to and whether she was also considering joining the Nazi party while she was at it.

Bear in mind that she's not someone who's normally easily offended, she's often blunt and jokingly offensive to me too. But, I agree that perhaps the Nazi comment might have been a step to far.

Anyway, she has called my ex and has been apparently 'crying and humiliated' and I am both embarrassed and also wanting to stand my ground - these posts are ignorant and I find it quite frightening when someone I consider reasonably well educated spouts them as fact.

Oh, and she's not answering my calls, hence my venting on MN!

[PoldarksBreeches]

The nazi comment was ill judged but your point was completely valid. Let her stew and think about it. She should be embarrassed.

[Naicehamshop]

These Britain First posts are garbage and drive me round the bend too, but maybe the Nazi comment was a bit ill-advised!

I would send an apology but also point out why you feel as you do.

[9troubledwaters]

I've defriended several people for posting this crap. Theyre still in my life though - they know how I feel about it. I just don't have to see it any more.
Funny how they don't dare say these things irl... judging from behind a keyboard they have no problem with

[MrsNuckyThompson]

I fell out with my step father years ago about something similar. I don't regret standing up for something I believe in but wish I had been less cack handed about it!! Don't years to plaster over the crack in the relationship.

[Confusednotcom]

No matter how much you disagree with her posts, she's clearly not interested in other people's far more sensible points of view : to save the relationship just text a fulsome apology. I'd make a point of not going near sensitive topics with her and ignore the social media guff

[ThatStewie]

Do you want a relationship with someone who is posted racist lies on FB without even trying to check the facts? BF are a fascist organisation so it's a valid comparison to the Nazis. I would text her back and make it clear what BF are and why you find her sharing those posts offensive.

[Heathen4Hire]

My step-mum-in-law is exactly like yours. She believes it all. She calls black people "coloured" which really boils my piss. She takes everything as gospel without researching the circumstances first. Lots of people de-friended her. Then she changed phones, forgot her Facebook password, and began posting shit under DFIL's account on his tablet! The nerve!

[Jemimapyjamas]

Thanks for your replies. Internet playing up - will post properly once I've sorted it!

[rememberthetime]

I defriended my miles for the same reason. I never told her that I did tho and to this day she thinks I see her posts. I pretend that I do so not to offend her. I didn't want her ignorant views to spoil our relationship. I see it as a generational thing.

[rememberthetime]

Mil. ...not miles.

[Corialanusburt]

Before Britain First and Brexit I naively believed people when they prefaced a sentence with, "I'm not a racist but ...." As with the Jimmy Saville business, I suddenly realise I've been living in a parallel universe alongside many many hideous racists.
Now if m watching something seemingly benign like A Place in the Sun, I just know that if I looked the participants up on Facebook I'd find them spouting all this. Makes me sad.

[LellyMcKelly]

I always pull people up about this Britain First crap by saying, 'This sounds dreadful/scary/ridiculous, but luckily it isn't true. There's loads of these scams going round a the minute...here's the link to the real story' (and then posting the link).