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grieving over lost friendship

(19 Posts)
Mel0Drama Wed 12-Oct-16 16:05:46

It was probably my fault the friendship ended, but I've asked and tried to repair things and she doesn't want to know.
I'm really struggling to get over losing my best friend, and my already fragile mh is taking a battering.
I also feel like I can't activate my fb which is a source of help from other friends/family because some unknown person has been causing shit between us.
I don't know how to get over the grief of losing my best friend(and her daughter) and I don't think I'll ever be able to make friends like that again.

SquareRootz Wed 12-Oct-16 16:15:16

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SquareRootz Wed 12-Oct-16 16:18:56

Ah crap, I seriously misread your post. I've asked to remove my previous one but will just stick to giving you flowers brew and sympathy.

Mel0Drama Wed 12-Oct-16 16:20:27

Sorry square . It's shit.
I have only known her for a couple of years but I thought so much of her and struggling , I feel like I've lost a partner, not just a friend!

Mel0Drama Wed 12-Oct-16 16:21:21

Don't worry square, I was grateful for your empathy x

The80sweregreat Wed 12-Oct-16 16:27:37

I am really sorry to read this as you sound so heartbroken about it all. I cant help much apart from saying that things will get better as time moves on, although you may not feel this at the moment. My only thought is maybe giving her some space for a while, then trying again to get in contact? people have time then to chew over whats gone on and be a bit more forgiving? I hope things improve for you.

IreallyKNOWiamright Wed 12-Oct-16 20:07:59

I ended a friendship wirh a best friend but even after a year of not talking and then trying to talk things through her character hasn't changed and she hasn't apologised for her behaviour. So I've distanced myself again like you I'm sad about the friendship as we had some good laughs but she also had a scheming character which eventually I woke up too. Perhaps you could wrote a letter asking what has happened and what has gone wrong

Groovee Wed 12-Oct-16 21:01:12

It's very common to grieve the loss of a friendship. Maybe your friend needs space for a while.

Get yourself sorted first before you tackle things. Once you are in a better place it will help you move on if she chooses not to repair things forever.

Mel0Drama Wed 12-Oct-16 21:15:17

Thank you all for replying!
80s thank you, but I just think she'll forget me as time moves on, and I wouldn't chase her up.ty
I really a letter may be a good idea, it's probs me that needs to apologise tho
Groovee spot on thanks

RainbowBriteRules Wed 12-Oct-16 21:39:05

I had a close friend (male if it matters but absolutely platonic) and the friendship ended years ago. In retrospect there was fault on both sides and we sort of drifted apart. Both DH and I (and other mutual friends) were devastated at the time. I don't think I will ever get over it.

I did try a few times to repair the friendship but he doesn't seem to want to. We had a couple of honest conversations which gave me a bit of closure.

After the last time when we arranged to meet and he cancelled, I realised I couldn't do it anymore. I haven't tried again. I occasionally bump into him but I am civil and make a quick exit. There's only so many times you can pick at a wound sad.

It is hard but I have found that time helps (I do realise that is a massive cliche) flowers.

Mel0Drama Thu 13-Oct-16 05:39:59

I suppose I'm struggling because she was my closest friend, I don't understand how you can just cut off a "best" friend like that. I don't think I'll be able to trust again.

Groovee Fri 14-Oct-16 15:28:34

I suppose it depends what has happened. Someone completely betrayed my trust and then lied to my face as well as lying to others. I did walk away with no further contact because she would accept responsibility for what she did.

Myusernameismyusername Fri 14-Oct-16 15:35:34

I have cut people out and it hurt like hell but I don't regret it now. It was good for me. It will feel better x

Groovee Fri 14-Oct-16 16:25:30

Would not accept that should have said. It was what I needed for my own mental health.

Babblehag Fri 14-Oct-16 16:36:24

Losing friends is really hard, you have a right to grieve for them.
I've had to cut a few friendships, owing to their behavior and they've all been fairly recently, and for a long time I thought it was down to me, however I have other friends and they told me it wasn't me but them, we all new each other, and had been out together etc but 3 of them turned out to be liars and generally not nice.

Tbh my life is much better and less dramatic without them.

RainbowBriteRules Fri 14-Oct-16 17:02:37

I don't understand how my friend could cut me off (and others) either. But he did, and I have had to accept that. He probably doesn't understand my side of the story either. I accept it now (as much as I ever will) and think of him much less often than I did.

JessaHanna Sun 16-Oct-16 23:58:48

Why did you fall out?

I lost a friend last year so sort of understand how you feel. It's hard but it does get easier flowers

Mel0Drama Wed 19-Oct-16 21:33:47

Jesse. We fell out cos I have been struggling with my mental health and said some awful things to her.
I apologised and asked for forgiveness. I guess I just thought we were better friends than we were.

Groovee Thu 20-Oct-16 09:26:52

The Rhyme "Sticks and Stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me!" Is such a wrong statement. Words can be one of the most hurtful things which people can struggle to get over from hearing those words.

As I said before get yourself better then try again. Attempting now would just do you more damage and maybe she needs time to recover from what you have said.

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