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Received weird text from ex-FWB out of the blue

(21 Posts)
IceAndASliceWithSoda Tue 11-Oct-16 12:40:02

Haven't seen ex-FWB since mid July and haven't been in any contact with him at all since early-ish August.
Last night he text me completely out of the blue saying 'hey ice. I just met someone who reminded me of your face. Happy new year' (in our culture we've just celebrated the new year) .

WTF?!?!
Why would you send that text?
How on earth am I supposed to respond?
Why after months of no contact would you text someone to say you have just met someone 'who reminded me of your face'

I don't know what he was/is hoping to gain and how on earth does he expect me to respond? He hasn't even asked a question or wished me well! This was sent at 10pm last night

Firsttheworst Tue 11-Oct-16 12:43:19

It's an opener. He wants back in

atticusclaw2 Tue 11-Oct-16 12:44:21

what is an ex FWB?

TheNaze73 Tue 11-Oct-16 12:46:18

Friends With Benefits

How did it end? I wouldn't necessarily think he wants back in. Think a lot depends on how you parted.

DocMcFanjo Tue 11-Oct-16 12:46:45

Yep. He wants a shag. Respond if you fancy one too, don't if you don't.

But, bluntly, don't respond if you're hoping he might want "something more" because he just wants a shag.

Mikkalina Tue 11-Oct-16 12:47:22

What is ex-FWB?

Maybe it was weird for him to meet someone who looks so much like you. Do you think he still misses you? Could be just to say, "Hello" and nothing else.

SheldonsSpot Tue 11-Oct-16 12:48:18

He wants a shag. Nothing more nothing less.

TrippyMcTrapFace Tue 11-Oct-16 12:51:21

Definite booty call.

It's quite normal for FWBs to drop off the face of the earth for a while. They meet someone they like, that fizzles out, back to FWB. Normal.
Although in this case I'm a bit confused by the 'ex-FWB' comment. Sounds as if it did have a formal ending of some sort. What happened OP?

AyeAmarok Tue 11-Oct-16 12:51:28

What's the big hoo-ha?

He was a friend, and he's just met someone who reminded him of you and thought he'd say hello. Perfectly pleasant.

If you want to remain in touch, or resume where you left off then text back.

If it ended badly then don't, delete and block and don't give it any more headspace.

I don't think it warrants all the drama, unless I'm missing something. confused

IceAndASliceWithSoda Tue 11-Oct-16 13:03:49

Well it never officially ended but I had a termination as a result of sleeping with him (I was using contraception! It failed!). As he had 'ghosted' me at the time I didn't tell him when I was pregnant so took a friend along to all my appointments. Weeks after the appointment he got back in touch asking if I wanted to come over for fun- I ended up telling him about the termination. He was shell shocked but nice about it I suppose. Afterwards we just stopped speaking and only spoke in early August because I had gone for my 5 weeks post termination scan, I let him know the procedure has been successful and he replied with 'thank you for letting me know' and that was the last I had heard from him!

So there is a bit more baggage than typical FWB. Ok I'm thinking of replying with 'erm ok, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing 😂. How are you? Happy new year to you too'

Marmighty Tue 11-Oct-16 13:07:36

Perhaps he feels a bit bad about what happened and wanted to get back in touch. Depends on how much you were friends I think. Or just wants to see if you still have something going. Can't imagine it's anything complicated.

AyeAmarok Tue 11-Oct-16 13:11:02

Well that explains more why you're reacting like this then!

Given that backstory I probably wouldn't text back. You don't want to get involved with him again given that he wasn't particularly supportive when he did find out what you'd had going on. So I'd just leave it all in the past.

TrippyMcTrapFace Tue 11-Oct-16 13:13:48

Right, I wondered what happened because FWB arrangements are often on and off until one of you gets too involved or one of you meets someone you like and want to date properly.

I wouldn't bother to reply. Do you want it to start up again?

TrippyMcTrapFace Tue 11-Oct-16 13:14:54

x post with Aye, and agree completely.

Sparklesilverglitter Tue 11-Oct-16 13:24:26

I think it would be a shock for anyone to be told you'd had an abortion when he wasn't aware of the pregnancy. So I think maybe that explains why you heard nothing for a whole.

Unless you want to go back there then I wouldn't reply, let sleeping dogs lie amd all that

tofutti Tue 11-Oct-16 13:25:37

Ok I'm thinking of replying with 'erm ok, I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing 😂. How are you? Happy new year to you too'

Why would you do this?

Let it (and him) go.

scallopsrgreat Tue 11-Oct-16 13:30:54

you say he was a Friend with Benefits. Where is the "friend" and where are the "benefits"?

For you.

I can see plenty of benefits for him getting back in touch. All I can see that you got out of this arrangement was an unwanted pregnancy and an unpleasant operation.

Why respond at all?

Coffeegivemecoffee Tue 11-Oct-16 13:31:06

I imagine finding out about an abortion when he didn't know you was pregnant might of been a bit odd and that's probably what cooled down the fwb thing, I mean what does one say to that.

TBH because of that it will never be as fun as it was before. I personally wouldn't want the reminder I'd get b seeing him so I just wouldn't reply.

Leave the past in the past

SheldonsSpot Tue 11-Oct-16 13:31:06

Ah I remember you. You were the one that text him "I was pregnant, it was yours, I've just had a termination... and here's a funny meme lol".

You're going to reply, so the only advice I have for you both is to be a lot more careful with contraception this time.

Coffeegivemecoffee Tue 11-Oct-16 13:32:01

Yes I remember the that too sheldon I remember thinking wtf? At the thread at the time

Cakelovelycake Tue 11-Oct-16 13:35:53

Firstly it isn't un common for fuck buddies to go months with no contact. Honestly I only text the couple of guys i have a fuck buddies when I want sex.

But I don't think you should reply to him, you can't go back there now. As pp says it will never be as fun as it was him knowing you had an abortion and didn't even tell him you was pregnant and for you knowing you had that abortion why would you want the reminder?

Leave the past where it belongs!

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