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You were right I was wrong

(23 Posts)
wossgoinon Tue 11-Oct-16 05:41:57

Well i gave him another chance and he fucked me over again. We would of been together 3 years this week.

He of course blames me ans my kids (who are teens) that we do not give him a sense of belonging. What is that meant to mean. They are just kids? they eat , sleep go to school. He misses his kids and puts hos sadness on me. i never broke up his marriage.

He did this back in Feb and never spoke to me for a week while staying wherever and now he wants another 'time out' because i got upset yesterday as i wanted more from him. Maybe a life together. He stayed with me everyday and i cooked for him like a mug and now he does this. i even got equipment for his 'dream' and now he has fucked me over. Im 44 i know you are all going to say 'told you so' and you are right. But im back to being that 14 year old who just wants the pain to end and end it, i wont because of my kids. What do i do about this broken heart. How can people say they love you and then to this the very next day

Walkacrossthesand Tue 11-Oct-16 06:01:20

I'm sorry you're hurting, woss - I've done an AS and there's nothing under this username from Feb (perhaps you name changed for a while then), just the posts from 2013 when your 11 year abusive marriage was ending.
Do you want to tell us more about what's going on currently? No 'I told you so's' - but by understanding what happened, you can deal with it.

Eastpoint Tue 11-Oct-16 06:11:43

I advanced searched too woss to see whether you had posted in February. It sounds (from your old thread years ago) that you have had some tough times but have made good choices in the past - leaving your ex & moving on. Can you try and regain some of that strength, be gentle to yourself first & have a cup of tea, sit down & make a plan of action.

wossgoinon Tue 11-Oct-16 06:37:52

ill try and find my username lol

Basically he has hurt me before. Took all his stuff in the middle of the night. Together nearly 3 years now and he has done it to me again.

Saying he wants a 'family' ie sitting round a table having larks and japes (sarcasm) i have a 16 and a 12 year old who if im lucky will talk to me. Typical teens

But if i was a kid i wouldnt trust a man who felt he could fuck off at any time.

Im the stupid one here

wossgoinon Tue 11-Oct-16 06:40:29

Unsettled72 was my user i think x

wossgoinon Tue 11-Oct-16 07:04:40

Muffymk was the one i used when he ghosted me

wossgoinon Wed 12-Oct-16 07:51:58

Well he cheated on me. he left his fb open and it was all there
He cheated the time ghosted me. i didnt even think he was the type but hey ho he is.

its gutting. He also gave her £1000 of pounds she fleeced him apparently.

wossgoinon Wed 12-Oct-16 07:54:00

im so upset

everything was a lie

SandyY2K Wed 12-Oct-16 07:55:48

I suggest going NC. Block him and delete him from social media.

Don't give him another chance to hurt you.

wossgoinon Wed 12-Oct-16 08:05:12

im just so upset

i dont think i can
i wanted him to come through but he hasnt

Happybunny19 Wed 12-Oct-16 12:28:47

He sounds like a complete waste of space and you and your kids are better off without a tosspot like him around. If your kids rejected him they clearly have good taste, be proud of them for that.

Three years is only a small part of your life, which is certainly not worth ending for this loser. Please get help for your terribly low self esteem so you don't end up in a relationship with another man like him (and your ex?). You're still young enough to meet a decent man if that's what you want, but more importantly at the moment, you need help to be happy by yourself and free of the damage these toxic relationships.

I wish you the very best of luck op. Your kids will benefit in seeing their mother happy and confident enough to end the cycle of abuse. I'm sure you would be horrified if they were in the same destructive relationships and if you tolerate this shit it's likely they'll think this is normal and acceptable. If you can't change for yourself please do it for your kids.

wossgoinon Thu 13-Oct-16 03:48:58

well i found out he was cheating on me for a year. A whole year

yet he stayed here all the time

The lady is just as shocked as me. She met him on bloody Tinder

wossgoinon Thu 13-Oct-16 05:50:53

How does someone live a double life.

I even have confirmation that he cheated on his ex wife and made her an embarrassment that she had to move 100s of miles away. Why was i taken in.

I must give out some sort of pheromone to fucktards

wossgoinon Fri 14-Oct-16 05:42:28

Well it gets better

He has weaved a pattern of lies. To me. To her. To his friends. Its like some nutty game of chess but with people
Im a complete mess and i cant even go to work

He says he wanted the family thing. But her lost his own as it turns out he cheated on his ex wife with her friend. Went back and forth then went back to the wife and the mistress went mental and attacked her with a knife in front of the kids and was given an 18month sentence. Its all madness

Anniegetyourgun Fri 14-Oct-16 05:55:02

Wow. Well, he's obviously good at deceiving people (he's had plenty of practice) so don't worry that you're a special kind of mug. You gave him another chance because you cared and because he's really good at saying what he knows you want to hear. If you fell for it again after this you would indeed be a mug!

Most people are basically reasonably honest and such bare-faced lying and lack of any consideration for others catches them off-guard. You were by no means the first, nor will you be the last in the line of women he uses and fucks up. Some people are just like that, and some are quite hard to spot at first. Your eyes are open now, although obviously it'll take a while for your heart to catch up. This is normal. Love yourself.

wossgoinon Fri 14-Oct-16 06:24:41

im just and emotional wreck
He accused the other lady of being mad, a stalker etc
Then she screen shot the messages to me. He was messaging her up till Monday.

I feel absolutely sick

Squeegle Fri 14-Oct-16 06:30:40

Oh dear. What a crazy mixed up man.
Not you. Him.
Step away from the wreckage.
Block him, think of tomorrow. I know it's hard, but honestly you are lucky yo be getting rid of him. Take one thing out of this - it is his selfishness that has made him act like this. Absolutely nothing to do with what you did or didn't do. flowers

wossgoinon Fri 14-Oct-16 06:51:46

i know

i just keep analysing it all the time. I print tshirts too and he pretended that it was all his business.

Its like something out of Eastenders.

Bloody Facebook. But at least I know now. It could of just gone on and become more traumatic

wossgoinon Fri 14-Oct-16 07:20:04

He took me clothes shopping on Sat for ffs
Can someone make a film about this please because this is mental

How can i change myself in to attracting cheating wankers. Answers on a postcard please

ptumbi Fri 14-Oct-16 07:21:23

Yes It could have just gone on - but three years is really a tiny amount of time. In three years your kids could have left home, gone to college and uni... make the best of the next three years with them, and forget HIM!

Easier said that done I know, but you do have your kids to focus on. They need you now in their teenage years. Let him fuck off - he wants to be a family? Yeah, so much that he wanted more than one!

Better off without him, all of you.

wossgoinon Fri 14-Oct-16 07:23:55

I know I know
Fucking mixed up xx

Backt0Black Fri 14-Oct-16 07:33:45

Sorry OP. I think when he said he wanted a 'family life' he was feeding you a line. He seems like a serial cheat and a bit of a conman and will be very used to telling women he thinks they want to hear. You story is remarkably similar To an old friend of mine. Got with a bloke, he launched into the whole family bit, she loaned him some money for a course he desperately wanted to go on. She got warning phone call from another woman. He explained it away. She caught him out and found he had a few on the go via dating sites. She spoke to one and found he was a serial cheat and a con man in terms of fleecing people for money and living on their goodwill.

I'm really sorry OP. You are worth more than this and you will be happy again if you just PLEASE move on. The alternative (to me anyway) seems a life of worry and looking over you shoulder and paranoia. He's a using wanker, invite him to use someone else somewhere else.

wossgoinon Fri 14-Oct-16 08:12:17

I know

im not going back there again. Total headfuck

Its been a total nightmare x

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