Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

not a happy bunny

(7 Posts)
cuddly61 Mon 10-Oct-16 09:53:12

ok so i havent worked for 9 years due to mental illness so going back into work is a big thing for me and its going to be working nights 2 nights a week as of yet i don't know which days. my other half rang me while i was out could her 16 year old cousin come and stay the weekend i reluctantly said ok .as i won't be working nights until the following week. but when i got home she said he was coming the next weekend as well with his mum and her aunt.i did know her two aunts was coming to stay as thats been planned for weeks but i know if ive worked a night they will be quiet or go shopping while i sleep the next day. but this cousin of hers is loud when he talks and i know he wont be quiet . its my first job in 9 years getting use to nights and sleeping in the day is going to be hard enough.
i feel like ive been tricked even though my other half said she didnt know he was coming the next weekend as well when she rang to ask me which i don't believe. i would like to add my other half does nothing to help around the home not even wash up and doesnt work. so ive told her she has to get the spare bed ready and cooking etc when her aunts come to stay they really help by washing up etc but i can't see either my other half or her cousin doing this.i've seen him with his own mum,she takes his meals to him in the room,fetches him the ketchup or whatever . he will only eat a expensive brand of bread etc . so basically i don't want him here two weekends my other half said i had already said yes but like i told her i didnt know when she first asked he was coming the next weekend as well . the last time he came a few years ago he spilt coco cola on my new white duvet cover that never came out and on the floor of the guest bedroom but didnt clean it up or tell me. he kept saying he was bored etc we took him into town he whinged he was hungry i offered to buy him some sandwiches but he said no because they wasn't branded make. arghhhh. but my main worry is if i work a night the second weekend he is coming i'm not going to be able to sleep the next day and be too tired to work the next night and loose my job its 11 hour shift.

Bob19702 Mon 10-Oct-16 10:07:24

It's quite simple , if I was in your position I would just tell them the situation with work etc and ask them not to come .

cuddly61 Mon 10-Oct-16 17:42:14

ive tried saying if i'm working he can't visit but all i got is she would take him out somewhere ,i said what for 8 hours while i sleep. i know she won't do that. thing is its my house my partner only pays half the bills,not towards our food etc so why should my money go towards feeding her family who insist on branded products . a few times when her family have stayed ive gone shopping and her relatives put what they want to eat in my trolley but never pay towards it,food i would never normally buy. last time i "accidently" lost them in the supermarket as i saw they had picked some stuff up then made it quick to the check out so they had to pay for the stuff they had picked up themselves. i was brought up that when being a guest you eat what you are giving and be grateful. but this cousin of hers eats like a horse ,he is greedy. but like i said it is my house and her mother told me that as its my house her daughter should not pay towards any maintenance of it like repairs or decorating yet she told me i should pay for her daughters car repair bills,mot and new tyres as i have more money. hmmmm i dont think so . oh and i even have to buy her tobacco nearly £20 a week even though she has £62.50 a week (her half of the bills come out of her other she wastes that £62.50 on dvds and online gaming.i'm blackmailed by if i dont buy her tobacco she wont pay half the bills. so basically to put it in a nutshell she doesnt even help by washing up no cleaning etc i do everything her day consists of getting up only getting dressed if she has to go out,watching tv or on her pc or in bed thats it. so you can understand why i feel like i do. now i have told her plain enough if i'm working her cousin is not visiting. i never got a answer. she will no doubt ignore me because once again she will put her family first. apparently him staying here for the weekend is to give him mum a break from picking him up from college a hour away from them. so my partner is going to pick him up and bring him here then take him back on the sunday thats 200 miles all together trip. i'll let you know what happens,lets hope i'm not working because if i am and she ignores what ive said there will be big trouble .

Iamdobby63 Mon 10-Oct-16 17:51:31

Perhaps a review of your relationship, doesn't sound like you are getting much out of it.

Pettywoman Mon 10-Oct-16 17:57:49

What a useless partner you have. Riot act needs to be read. Are you sure you benefit from this relationship?

Bob19702 Mon 10-Oct-16 19:24:51

I wouldn't put up with anybody putting food in my trolley and expecting me to pay for it , branded or not . Like you say it's your house so your rules apply , what are you actually getting out of the relationship apart from people taking advantage of you .??

RunRabbitRunRabbit Mon 10-Oct-16 22:36:14

Sounds like your return to work is being deliberately sabotaged.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now