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Is he about to cheat?

(27 Posts)
Hahahollie Sun 09-Oct-16 20:08:57

Been with DP 5 years, very much in love. He is an honest and decent guy.

Recently overheard a conversation between him and his friend where he mentioned he was avoiding a woman because he doesn't want the temptation.

My mind is on overdrive at the moment, struggling to understand what this means.

mydietstartsmonday Sun 09-Oct-16 20:10:02

Just go and have mind boggling sex with him.

Hahahollie Sun 09-Oct-16 20:11:07

That made me chuckle

Bogeyface Sun 09-Oct-16 20:12:53

Why dont you talk to him about it? He obviously find her attractive, what you need to know is how much of a threat this is. If he finds himself alone with her, is he likely to give in to temptation? Is the feeling reciprocated?

Rather than colluding in this secret and driving yourself crazy, talk to him.

Forgettheworld Sun 09-Oct-16 20:13:22

I'd say it sounds like he was attracted to someone and maybe had thoughts of cheating but he's doing the right thing and staying away from her. I agree it's an awful thing to hear but most people in relationships, even happy ones occasionally feel attracted to other people. You either try and forget what you heard or speak to him and find out who it is i don't know which I'd do

Secretsandlies222 Sun 09-Oct-16 20:17:35

I agree, Forget. He does sound like a decent guy who is trying to do the right thing. I could see how it would bother you, though. I'd be feeling just as anxious.

feministwithtitsin Sun 09-Oct-16 20:34:59

It could even be 'god I hate that woman, want to tell her to f off' 'I'm just avoiding her, I don't want the temptation'. I don't think it even is necessarily someone he is attracted to, although it doesn't sound good. If it's something you are worried about, talk to your DP.

Hahahollie Mon 10-Oct-16 06:32:15

Spoke to DP about it. Not sure what to think now. Apparently she is really after him, but he has told her he is not interested in a friendship or relationship.

I'm just wondering how it even got to that level of conversation.

TurnipCake Mon 10-Oct-16 06:47:29

Surely if he wasn't interested then he wouldn't be 'tempted'?

He may not have done anything, but I doubt this is the case of a femme fatale doing all the chasing

PastoralCare Mon 10-Oct-16 12:56:22

So are you complaining about the fact that he did the right thing?

lottieandmia Mon 10-Oct-16 13:28:21

Agree with turnipcake

adora1 Mon 10-Oct-16 13:31:30

BS, I doubt it's one sided OP if he's said he's avoiding the temptation, he should not have to avoid anyone to ensure he doesn't cheat - I'd really not be happy about this.

HappenstanceMarmite Mon 10-Oct-16 13:32:25

God that would break my heart hearing that he could be tempted if in the right situation.

suspiciousofgoldfish Mon 10-Oct-16 14:17:36

I would go apeshit if I heard DH say he was avoiding a woman because she was too much of a temptation.

Absolutely ballistic.

If it were me I would tell him to take his self-sacrificing bullshit and hope that he chokes on it.

BolshierAryaStark Mon 10-Oct-16 16:28:35

That is so not good, I would not be happy to hear he had to avoid her because of the temptation.

AnyFucker Mon 10-Oct-16 17:20:03

Does his cock have an uncontrollable homing device or something ? hmm

There is nothing wrong with fancying someone, but grown ups can be in the presence of such a person without losing control over their sexual organs and without spilling their guts to randoms. All he wanted to do really was to have a conversation about how much he is attracted to her

I would be incandescent

Hahahollie Mon 10-Oct-16 19:15:55

Thanks all. Guessing there is a lot more to the story that I don't know.

SandyY2K Tue 11-Oct-16 06:14:13

I don't think he's about to cheat. It may well be as he said, someone who fancies him and if he were single he'd be interested, but he is trying to steer clear for that reason. To avoid temptation as he says.

Obviously it's not something you'll be thrilled about, but he's human.

Hearing it was the issue, but there have been people I avoid and stay well away from for the same reason. I just don't discuss it with anyone.

There is something called boundaries and I reckon your BF is trying to put good boundaries in place.

bert3400 Tue 11-Oct-16 08:45:52

she may sell cakes or chocolate !!

bert3400 Tue 11-Oct-16 08:48:05

/\ sorry didn't realise he had confessed ...please ignore me

lottieandmia Tue 11-Oct-16 12:31:35

The problem is that if he really wasn't thinking of doing anything about this attraction (or if he hadn't) then he wouldn't even be talking about it. I agree with AF he wanted to find a way to discuss her.

Op if I were you I would do some digging. Women don't chase married men who show no interest.

yohoohoo Tue 11-Oct-16 12:48:40

So sorry this is happening in your life.

My advice is absolutely go with your gut instinct...gather evidence, check everything - emails - sent, deleted, mobile, Facebook messages everything without him knowing. They slip up as Im finding out myself right now.

SandyY2K Tue 11-Oct-16 13:03:57

Women don't chase married men who show no interest.

OP said DP not DH. She may not know he's with someone.

lottieandmia Tue 11-Oct-16 13:45:40

That is true Sandy.

Hahahollie Thu 13-Oct-16 19:21:03

So you were right. Something did happen. I don't have absolute evidence but everything suggests he tried to take her out for lunch one day when I was on holiday.

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