My partner doesn't pull his weight

user1472709746 · 2016-10-08 19:28:08

Me and my partner have been together 2 years and have a 7 month old daughter. He works 30 hours a week in a pub and I am a stay at home mum. I know I am a Saha so don't mind doing most of the childcare/housework but I feel like I am doing way more than my fairshare. He has hovered once/put a clothes wash on once since our daughter was born and both times because I had been nagging him about the fact he does literally NO housework. He complains about there being no food in but won't help me with a big shop on his days off (we live on the 4th floor and neither of us can drive so getting a big shop home is a big job). He works 4 days a week, a mix of days and evenings, but stays up to at least 2am every night, very often later, playing video games and watching films. Then he sleeps in until he has work the next day even if his shift starts at 5pm. I know he needs a lie in if he does a late shift but his lie ins are everyday (even on week holidays) and often into the afternoon. Meanwhile I have to tiptoe around our flat with dd trying not to wake him up and if I need to get dressed to go out we fight because it wakes him up. He has never done a night feed or woken up and done a morning shift. He sometimes puts her to bed, gives her a bath or her dinner (never all three just one of them) but only if I ask and act really desperate. Today he slept till one pm. I asked him to watch dd for 45 mins till my mum arrived, he refused and said he was going to play video games for a hour then going back to sleep till work. It's a work day so he thinks it's unfair to ask him to do literally anything, even that small thing. He says on his days off I have to let him know in advance if I want him to take her for a few hours and if I don't he get annoyed on the day for springing it on him and we fight. We barely have dinner together, never wake up or go to bed together and when dd is in bed and we are both in we spend our time in different rooms. I sit in the living room while he is in his video games room. Really don't know what to do as we talk about it and he just doesn't think things are as uneven as I do. He constantly complains about getting no time alone or to relax and talks about how relentless life has become. I have tried to explain how hard I'm finding it (i feel almost single a lot of the time) but he doesn't seem think things are unfair.

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