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deal breaker?

(23 Posts)
Mimpimbarneymcgrim Sat 08-Oct-16 18:08:38

Would compulsive nail biting be a deal breaker for you in a relationship?

Coconutty Sat 08-Oct-16 18:12:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sugarpiehoneyeye Sat 08-Oct-16 18:13:49

Mmm, yes it most certainly would.

Chinks123 Sat 08-Oct-16 18:14:48

No probably not. I bite mine when I get nervous blush

Mimpimbarneymcgrim Sat 08-Oct-16 18:16:06

Yes it's not nice and makes me feel quite uncomfortable... like I am making him anxious or something? I guess it is a childhood habit that most people would grow out of

Joysmum Sat 08-Oct-16 19:24:55

I hope not as both DH and bite our nails.

Why on earth are you asking other people if it's a deal breaker? Is it something you can tolerate in a good relationship is all that matters.

Happybunny19 Sat 08-Oct-16 19:31:37

Wow what a weird question. Only you can answer that one, but it doesn't sound that promising that you are so bothered by a relatively small thing. Perhaps you are looking for excuses because you aren't really that keen.

Myusernameismyusername Sat 08-Oct-16 21:53:33

I hate my DD doing it but then I have horrible habits she hates. I think it depends on the person. My mum bites her nails and hearing the crack noise then seeing her spit the bit out turns my stomach so badly so for me I would not be able to sit next to someone for a long period of time. I do ask people to stop in my company although I know it's horribly unfair of me to do so but it's like nails down a blackboard (I would prefer that to be honest)

It's each to their own on what you can tolerate and you can only tell someone you don't like it but you can't expect them to stop just for you they have to want to stop and make the effort. I wish I could stop my DD doing it but I think it's life long for her. I won't sit on the same sofa with her if she does it which is bad but I just cannot get used to the noise no matter how hard I try to distract myself away from it

Myusernameismyusername Sat 08-Oct-16 21:56:09

I don't think it's anxiety it's comfort actually. I bet my mother wouldn't bite her nails at work and if we are out socially she never does it. But once you are watching Tv her and DD just sit there spitting out bits of fingernail

Myusernameismyusername Sat 08-Oct-16 22:00:10

My habit involves fingers and nails I never chew them in my mouth but I sometimes pick the sides around the nail with the other hand. The only way I managed to stop myself was learning how to paint my nails (gel polish) and got all the stuff and then I don't want to ruin my hard work and them look ugly because I have a job where you see my hands and they have to look professional so I don't pick them.

Mimpimbarneymcgrim Sun 09-Oct-16 00:10:19

Asking for advice Joysmum is that ok?
and it's not a small thing if it happens all the time

LiviaDrusillaAugusta Sun 09-Oct-16 00:43:44

I have bitten my nails all my life. As for it making you feel you are making him nervous, if you are judging him for doing it, it's going to make it worse.

Joysmum is actually right so there was no need to be that rude. Everyone has different tolerances - what is a deal breaker to one person isn't to someone else. You won't get him to stop so if it bugs you to that extent, just move on

Mimpimbarneymcgrim Mon 10-Oct-16 00:14:07

I wasn't that rude I simply said I was asking for advice which I was
how is that rude?
I notice it is the nail biters themselves who are gong on the defensive here .... maybe you should try to stop

ChequeOff Mon 10-Oct-16 00:53:47

It's subjective though isn't it.

Personally nail biting wouldn't bother me but smoking would.

I think your last comment is a bit judgy and reveals how you feel about nail biters.

FWIW I don't bite my nails.

NeedABanner Mon 10-Oct-16 01:04:49

Yes, it would be for me.

Nail biters might want to stop reading...(sorry)

I feel a bit bleurgh just reading this thread, people biting their nails churns my stomach. It's a dirty habit, nails are not clean. I went out with someone a couple of times, he was really nice, but his gnawed fingers where nails should be really turned me off & there's no way they were going anywhere near me, so that was that really.

Only you can decide if it's a deal breaker for you & if you're the biter only you can decide to either stop or find someone who doesn't mind. There are definitely worse habits out there.

NeedABanner Mon 10-Oct-16 01:06:00

Sorry, obviously you're not the nail biter. I'm not focussing very well tonight.

MrHannahSnell Mon 10-Oct-16 01:52:04


Groundhogday2016 Mon 10-Oct-16 09:32:26

It depends if they do it openly or in private. I worked with a woman who bit her nails in meetings and it literally went through me. I couldn't bear it even for half a minute.

SheldonsSpot Mon 10-Oct-16 09:35:44

Total deal breaker for me. Seeing chewed down nails, or scabby sore fingertips where nails should be, turns my stomach and I don't think I could let him touch me.

MariposaUno Mon 10-Oct-16 10:59:31

It kind of would be for me I kind of see it as a sign for other things, I'm not sure what maybe anxiety etc.
It puts me off a bit having gone with two nail/hand biters that weren't great relationships so probably thinking more than necessary.

When dating I have a mental list of does and don't and this would be one of them.

hellsbellsmelons Mon 10-Oct-16 11:02:01

I didn't grow out of it until it hit about 40!
I now have lovely nails.
Can you talk to your DP about it and how it affects you?
Maybe you could get him Stop 'n Grow!?

Zaphodsotherhead Mon 10-Oct-16 11:05:28

If it's on an otherwise lovely person, then no (everyone is allowed the odd flaw). But if it's on someone who is generally nervy and on-edge, then yes. I'd like my partner to be able to relax in my company!

Btw, an ex of mine used to pull at his toenails and then chew them...oddly enough, that wasn't the deal breaker....

Mimpimbarneymcgrim Tue 11-Oct-16 00:29:46

Thanks for the comments/advice everyone... I think the Stop n Grow could be a winner!

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