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He hasn't come home...

(38 Posts)
Jess89Amie Sat 08-Oct-16 07:35:36

Hi all
This is my first post on Mumsnet - but seriously freaking out.

My boyfriend went out last night - at around 7pm with "the boys".

I had dinner a glass of wine and went to bed around 11:30pm, expecting him to roll in around 3am.

It's now 7:30 - no sign. No text. No call.

I tried calling/texting and no answer!

Should I be worried?

He has never done this before sad xxx

JellyWellyKelly Sat 08-Oct-16 07:40:54

Do you have any of his friends numbers you could send a text to see if he possibly fell asleep at theirs?
It's probably something like that which has happened.

RedMapleLeaf Sat 08-Oct-16 07:41:33

Can you get in touch with any of his friends?

Fruitellaz Sat 08-Oct-16 07:42:02

Could he have stayed at a friend's maybe? Strange not to let you know though I guess.

PoldarksBreeches Sat 08-Oct-16 07:42:41

It's probably not anything worse than he has got wasted and slept on a friend's sofa. However that is bad enough. You say boyfriend which could mean anything from dating for 3 months up to 3 kids and a mortgage. The seriousness depends on the situation.

GizmoFrisby Sat 08-Oct-16 07:43:45

Did he mention where he was going? Is his phone ringing or off? I'd be concerned too. Is he trustworthy? Or could he be up to no good?

Bagina Sat 08-Oct-16 07:43:55

Been there. It's shit. Fb messages to all his friends or whatsapp. "Is he alive? Is he with you?".

Scarydinosaurs Sat 08-Oct-16 07:47:35

Do you live together, or are you at his/he at your's?

Have you been arguing recently?

Lunar1 Sat 08-Oct-16 07:59:21

Hopeyhrs just asleep on someone's sofa.

Rubberduck2 Sat 08-Oct-16 08:07:32

I would be livid if my OH if he did this... I can only imagine how sick you must feel.

I hope he's home soon flowers

Forgettheworld Sat 08-Oct-16 08:13:14

I can only imagine how sick you feel and the thoughts going through your head. Hope he's home soon and just passed out at a friends place

laurenandsophie Sat 08-Oct-16 09:05:50

OP, did you find him? Everything ok?

TheNaze73 Sat 08-Oct-16 09:06:45

What Poldark said

I hope he's back soon

rainbowstardrops Sat 08-Oct-16 09:09:00

Have you found him yet?

Ledkr Sat 08-Oct-16 09:25:37

I notice there's threads like this every weekend and they are nearly always about men not coming home!
I notice that most grown adult women can manage a night out and Get home or at least let someone know they won't be hmm

GizmoFrisby Sat 08-Oct-16 09:40:41

I noticed that too. I wouldn't be able to cope if it was me. I'd hit the roof. Surely these men can let their partners know where they are? Take 2 mins to make a phone call. Always makes me suspicious they are hiding things if they don't answer/make contact.

ImperialBlether Sat 08-Oct-16 09:42:18

I know my ex would've been up to no good if he stayed out all night. Once you reach a certain age you really don't want to sleep on a sofa and you'll get a taxi home to avoid it.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Sat 08-Oct-16 09:45:44

YesLedkr I wonder how cool he'd be about OP doing this.

Hope he's home now*Jess*. If he doesn't normally stay out overnight with no warning and without contacting you it must be concerning but try not to worry. I'd not start checking round mates until midday.

number277 Sat 08-Oct-16 09:49:24

Has he come home? I can imagine how sick you must feel. flowers

Ledkr Sat 08-Oct-16 10:15:26

A lot of the men I know who are or have been cheats have form for this, funny that.
I used to be a total party animal bit always always made it home to my bed, the only time I didn't was when I was in someone else's.
As imperial says, most adults would move heaven and earth to get home to their own bed when a bit worse for wear.
That said op I do hope he's ok.

BombayBonsai Sat 08-Oct-16 10:23:17

For me this is a massive deal breaker but I've made that clear from the very start. I had an ex that used to do it alot, he was at OW's. I waited until I had concrete proof and then walked but went through hell getting to that point. I've made it crystal clear with DP that if he did this he would return to a locked door.

Has he done this before but let you know so therefore thinks it's OK? A conversation definitely needs to be had if this isn't acceptable to you.

Forgettheworld Sat 08-Oct-16 10:29:13

My OH has never done this I would go mental but last weekend one of his friends past out at ours I didn't know he was there until I saw him in the spare bed the next morning. He had 17 missed calls of his wife so I messaged her telling her he was safe and at ours. It doesn't always have to mean he's cheating

CaptinMuma Sat 08-Oct-16 10:32:15

Hope you find him soon and the worry is over x

LoveYouTooMum Sat 08-Oct-16 10:32:24

I'd be pretty worried, but I'm sure he's fine.


Offred Sat 08-Oct-16 10:40:03

I'm another one who would never accept this again. Yes it is harsh if it was actually just drunkenly falling asleep somewhere but having had XP who used to randomly go missing into other people's beds for days at a time I'll make no apologies for saying it is one of my boundaries that cannot be crossed.

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