Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

I've really fucked up - contacted ex anonymously and he figured out it was me

(226 Posts)
WakeMeWhenThisIsDone Fri 07-Oct-16 12:22:00

Name changed for this. As everything put together would most definitely out me.

I just feel awful. I sent a jokey e-mail to him from an anonymous account and he somehow figured out it was me. I now want to crawl into a dark cave and stay there forever.

Arfarfanarf Fri 07-Oct-16 12:23:48

why did you do that?

And having done it, he's only guessing it was you, he can't know it was you, can he?

So you could have just denied all.

What has happened about it? he's contacted you? or what?

pocketsaviour Fri 07-Oct-16 12:24:05

Why would you send him a "jokey" email, even anonymously?

Are you able to cut contact completely or do you have DC together?

ReallyShouldKnowBetterAtMyAge Fri 07-Oct-16 12:25:43

Guessing isn't the same as knowing.

How do you know he has guessed it is you?

LineyReborn Fri 07-Oct-16 12:25:44

What joke did you send? Why?

Ilovetorrentialrain Fri 07-Oct-16 12:26:02

Oh no! What did you want to achieve from sending it? How inappropriate was the content? Was it to other people too? You could say it wasn't meant for him!

Ilovetorrentialrain Fri 07-Oct-16 12:26:46

Sorry x post with just about everyone!

mrschatty Fri 07-Oct-16 12:27:35

Did you admit to it. I'd just deny deny deny

YvaineStormhold Fri 07-Oct-16 12:28:55

Deny everything, even in the face of incontrovertible evidence.

AnchorDownDeepBreath Fri 07-Oct-16 12:29:55


As in a joke, or something that may seem a bit stalkery or harassing?

Myusernameismyusername Fri 07-Oct-16 12:30:12

I'm going to be patronising and use the words 'learning curve' here.

Have a strong word with yourself about the entire point of this act

GameOldBirdz Fri 07-Oct-16 12:30:48

How does he know it's you?

SheldonsSpot Fri 07-Oct-16 12:31:06

Forget about your embarrassment and spend some time working out why you did such a weird creepy thing and then dealing with that so you don't do it again.

VioletBam Fri 07-Oct-16 12:31:57

It's done. Gone. In the past. Move on and forget it. If you can't then I suspect there are more issues at play than your embarrassment here never mind your motivation in the first place.

Meeep Fri 07-Oct-16 12:33:06

What on earth did you send him? That was kind of weird to do. What was it for?
Is it a recent ex?

CalmItKermitt Fri 07-Oct-16 12:34:32

Deny it til you're blue in the face.

Move on.

Don't do it again.


FeckinCrutches Fri 07-Oct-16 12:36:44

Have you admitted it was you? If not he can't know for certain! I'm cringing on your behalf grin

KondosSecretJunkRoom Fri 07-Oct-16 12:38:17

What kind of jokey email, like 'a man walked into a bar...' joke or a gif of Kathy Bates chopping off Paul Sheldon's legs?

GameOldBirdz Fri 07-Oct-16 12:43:02

grin Kondos

Dontyouopenthattrapdoor Fri 07-Oct-16 12:44:41

Laughing at Kondos :D


BitOutOfPractice Fri 07-Oct-16 12:50:08

Oof! Can you style it out and say you meant to send it to another Roger or John or whatever. Or was it not that kind of joke?

PacificDogwod Fri 07-Oct-16 12:52:10

What possessed you?!

Deny, deny, deny.
And learn from the experience.

QueenofallIsee Fri 07-Oct-16 12:53:04

DENY DENY DENY. You don't know what he is on about blah blah blah...

Why did you feel you had to send it anonymously? We are not talking restraining order or anything are we?

AmyInTheBoonies Fri 07-Oct-16 12:56:14

I did something like that once. It was my passive aggressive way of getting back at him I suppose, it actually stressed me out ten times more than it stressed him out so it back fired anyway.

If you still can deny I would though! I denied it btw, we both knew it was me but better not to just admit it out right!

QueenLizIII Fri 07-Oct-16 13:13:36

Who cares. Just leave it.

Just ignore him or send him a ? message.

I know these things make you crazy flowers

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now