So, after much thought I decided I wasn't going to put ds and dd (both adults) through a court appearance. And to be honest, I didn't want to do it to dh either, for the sake of the children and the fact that he really isn't a well man. I negotiated that Mental Health Services would hang on to him and continue to support him and that he wouldn't come to the house.
I hadn't heard anything for six weeks because he'd been bailed to a mental health hostel. I have taken things to his CPN for him, packed him jars of coffee and packets of biscuits and put other things in with his stuff that I thought he would appreciate/find useful. I am suffering from PTSD and a conversion disorder (read an hysterical/emotional physical response to an emotional trauma). Whilst being determined that he wasn't going to come back here, I wanted to make things easy for him. I have MUG written large across my forehead and Doormat across my back. Within half an hour of hearing that I'd dropped the charges he was sending abusive texts about me to our dc. How I had manipulated him for years, humilated him, undermined his treatments and lied.
I know that these are his behaviours, I know that due to his BPD this is the narrative he needs to tell himself to protect himself, but I'm still hurt and distressed that he could say those things about someone who did nothing but try to help him and make his life comfortable for over twenty years.
I'm also a touch embarrassed that I seem to have PTSD and an hysterical problem. I'm a strong person, I thought I'd be fine and I just seem to be bothering the Doctor all the time, and when I'm not I'm maniacally cleaning the house and crying. I can't settle to anything.
Someone tell me that it'll sort, please.
Thank you!
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Messy Head!
24 replies
WoodenTrees · 06/10/2016 22:28
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