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Ghosted by good friend

(5 Posts)
SummersDay2014 Thu 06-Oct-16 11:38:10

Don't want to go into detail -I don't want to out myself. But I think I'm being ghosted by a good friend. We have been friends for close to 7 years and talked every day. Been though a lot together. But last couple of months not answering my calls, not ringing me. Not replying to messages etc. How do I cope? I feel like I must have done something wrong or do they not like me anymore. I have been depressed lately which probably makes me more sensitive. .. has anyone been through this? How did you cope?

SummersDay2014 Thu 06-Oct-16 11:45:06

Anyone?

HuskyLover1 Thu 06-Oct-16 12:10:33

Can't you just ask her? Turn up on her doorstep, if needs be. You can say you were worried whether she was ok, as you hadn't heard from her.

WittyCakeMeister Thu 06-Oct-16 12:21:56

I didn't realise it was called ghosting. If you've known her for 7 years and talked every day, then it probably took a lot of balls for her to start cutting you out. There is either something obvious that you've done to upset her (are you sure you can't think of anything?), or if not, its likely that there are little things that have been irritating her for a while, and she's made a decision to end the friendship.

It could be something as simple as - different approaches to organising get-togethers (different socialising expectations), or perhaps she doesn't feel supported some way.

Whatever it is, if it's not something obvious, I would not waste brain space trying to work it out. It's probably not an issue of 'right' or 'wrong', but just that you have some differences, or are moving in differnt directions in your life. Friendships can often drift apart.

I'd send a message saying something along the lines of - 'Hope you are OK, not heard from you for a while. I've been feeling like you've been distant from me. Not sure if I've done something to upset you; I hope not. If you want to get together to talk, I'd welcome that'. Then just leave it alone.
If she gets in touch then she obviously feels it's something specific and fixable, but if she percieves that there are unfixable differences between you, she may not respond.

Get on with your life and try not to dwell on it. Make an effort to make new friends. If she gets in touch and you work it out, that's great. But if not, try to accept you've drifted apart.

Drbint Thu 06-Oct-16 12:48:22

What Witty said. FGS, don't turn up on her doorstep! Whether she is trying to distance herself or just been dealing with something else, she's not likely to appreciate that.

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