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Not sure what I have done wrong

(8 Posts)
BumpiestBumpinBumpsville Wed 05-Oct-16 11:48:45

I have name changed.

So, I joined an NCT class as I thought it would be nice to meet some people in the same boat. Not unusual.

The course hasn't even finished yet.

I know (overheard) that all of the other women are in contact on line (fb group). One woman set it up.

Why would you do this? If you were going to deliberately exclude someone, wouldn't you wait until at least the course had finished?

Feeling completely humiliated and genuinely have no idea what I have done. I thought (clearly wrongly) that I'd done my best to be friendly.

longdiling Wed 05-Oct-16 11:56:16

Could they maybe not find you online? Are you Facebook friends with any of them?

RNBrie Wed 05-Oct-16 12:00:53

This happened to me but with a whatsapp group. the lady that set it up didn't have my phone number, we had been emailing as a group and the emails went quiet. No one realised I hadn't been added.

It was an accident, I was a bit put out but it wasn't a deliberate act to exclude me. Just ask someone to add you. Find one of them on Facebook and send a message asking them to add you.

The chances of this being personal are so slim, don't make it at issue and risk losing what might turn out to be great friends (as mine did).

BumpiestBumpinBumpsville Wed 05-Oct-16 12:06:12

No, I'm not online friends with any of them. I haven't seen any emails or texts either.

I wasn't aware that anybody was in contact outside the class.

Bloody annoyed as the content was crap. Meeting people was the entire point.

Feel like I've wasted £200.

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 05-Oct-16 12:06:34

Yep, almost zero chance of it being a deliberate snub. It is seriously unlikely that everyone in your NCT group is conspiring against you. That's your baby brain talking. It's probably their baby brains that meant you got left off the group.

Next time you are there say "Hey, I heard you've made a FB group. What a great idea! Can I join?"

RunRabbitRunRabbit Wed 05-Oct-16 12:11:26

Did you attempt to initiate any texts or emails or FB with anyone? Invite anyone out for coffee?

Normally these things are a two way street.

If you have been sitting there looking pissed off at the crap content and have not made any attempts at initiating outside contact then they might think you are not interested in them. Or if they like the course and you moan about it, again they might think you don't want to be their friend, you just want to get out of there as fast as possible.

Going somewhere specifically to meet people then not taking action to show you want to be friends outside, isn't going to be awfully successful now is it?

CocoLoco87 Wed 05-Oct-16 12:23:42

Definitely ask to be included! Don't feel bad because they've missed you out, although I'm sure it feels lousy. We had 8 in our NCT group and one person was missed out from the whatsapp group initially as she didn't leave her phone number and no one knew surnames to contact on fb.

Bite the bullet and be proactive on this one! I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding flowers

FinallyHere Wed 05-Oct-16 12:29:20

Or you might say at the end of the next meeting how much you have enjoyed meeting and that you would like to be in touch outside the meetings. Let them mention their arrangements.

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