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People who thought it was too late and then you met someone and had a family ... Tell me your stories?

(45 Posts)
Yellowmilkshake Wed 05-Oct-16 07:41:12

I'm 31 and panicking. Firstly because all I've wanted is a family for the last 5 years really, and secondly because everyone else seems to have managed this, and I'm starting to be labelled as the 'career woman!' I love my job but I'm more than ready to compromise on it for a family. I just haven't met the right one.

I have an earlier thread which explains the panic!

Anyone who met someone later than they ideally wanted... Tell me your stories?

lasttimeround Wed 05-Oct-16 10:10:11

I was together with someone from 19-29. Adored him. He left me out of the blue (for me). I remember turning 30 and looking around at all my previously single mates all now married snd starting to have families and just feeling lost - as well as heartbroken. No idea how to start again. I got a bit alarmed when i realised that decent guy I met had a wedding ring or a steady girlfriend. In many ways it was a great time for me. I learnt lots about myself and sharpened up my ideas about a partner and about life without one.
I met dh at 31 had dd at 35.
I think 31 is still young but you need to arrange your life do you can meet some decent unattached men who are looking for a partner and family. Clubs, interests, OLD, without feeling too freaked and taking just anyone. I think 30 a shit age for women as many younger guys are still too young and most decent older guys are attached already. I think that gets better again once you're mid 30s.

happyandsingle Wed 05-Oct-16 10:18:56

I think 30s in general is a crap age for dating. plus once you get late 30s most men in your age group want someone 10+ years younger.

WindPowerRanger Wed 05-Oct-16 10:23:38

Good, you've got past the dangerous stage of settling for a twerp in order to be married by 30! (What a good friend rightly said to me when dictator ex and I split up).
Aged 38, went on hippy holiday, met DH. Now together 10 years, two kids, v happy.
You've got time!

Churchillian Wed 05-Oct-16 10:29:15

Erm I was 40 when I met DP in a pub.We now have 2 kids, house cats etc. You have plenty of time! Don't panic..

Yellowmilkshake Wed 05-Oct-16 16:52:08

Ahh these stories have made me smile (and feel calmer!). Thank you smile

TorchesTorches Wed 05-Oct-16 16:56:35

I met my DH at 35, married at 37 and 2 kids after that. I had given up. Met through a sports club, worth a shot for a good male female ratio!

Yellowmilkshake Wed 05-Oct-16 19:50:59

smile making me feel happier.

Anymore anyone?!

NattyTile Wed 05-Oct-16 20:02:21

Didn't meet anyone. Adopted, fostered, and have a lovely family now. Not quite the same, I know. But very very good.

LetitiaCropleysCookbook Wed 05-Oct-16 20:08:22

Met dh at 32, married at 34, then had 3 dc at 35, 38 and 45! Plenty of time. Relax!

LetitiaCropleysCookbook Wed 05-Oct-16 20:09:19

Met dh through mutual friend, btw.

KatsutheClockworkOctopus Wed 05-Oct-16 20:12:45

Met DH at 34. Six years later we're married with toddler DS.

31 is loads of time!

Bambamrubblesmum Wed 05-Oct-16 20:40:14

I was married when my exh dropped the bombshell that he didn't want kids because it 'wasn't in his plan' confused didn't bother to share the plan with me I knew we had no future at that point.

I split up with ex and met DH when I was 30. Now have two gorgeous kids and been with DH for 11 years. Very happy with life.

Bambamrubblesmum Wed 05-Oct-16 20:44:07

Should add had DS at 38 and DD at 40.

You've got loads of time! Nil desperandum flowers

GoldPlatedBacon Wed 05-Oct-16 20:47:21

Other than a few flings I was eternally single during my 20s and had the same worries as you. Met DP online at 30. We now have a 1 year old and its our 4 year anniversary today (and he even bought me flowers!!)

GemmaB78 Wed 05-Oct-16 20:47:41

Two failed longterm relationships by the time I was 32. Met my lovely (now) fiancé at the age of 36 via OLD. Son was born 18 months later (oops!). I am so glad I met him a bit later after a string of bad 'uns. Made me appreciate him even more.

Womble75 Wed 05-Oct-16 20:49:23

Met OH when I was 35. Now 41 and have DD1 and 15 weeks pregnant with DC2.
Don't panic you have plenty of time smile

roarfeckingroar Wed 05-Oct-16 20:53:19

This is exactly what I want to see. 28, nearly 29 feeling scared that all good ones are taken and I'll be on the shelf forever. Hasten to add I'm not this pathetic at work etc .

pippitysqueakity Wed 05-Oct-16 20:54:15

Met oh at 37, DD1 at 38, DD2 at 40.
No fairy tale TBH, but happy enough.🙂

wobblywonderwoman Wed 05-Oct-16 20:54:35

I had a long term relationship that ended before my 30th. Met someone and that was a disaster. A rebound thing. He was ten years older. Six months or so.

Vowed to be on my own aged 31. Went out one night and met dh (I knew him before through friends) married and had two DC before 36.

SleepFreeZone Wed 05-Oct-16 22:21:55

Met DP at 36 through OLD. At the time I had just come out of a relationship, didn't want any commitment so decided to just do American style dating and keep it loose. Within 6 months I had moved in and was pregnant 😳

Four years later we have two kids, are getting married hopefully next year and are very happy indeed ☺️

MrsRedFly Wed 05-Oct-16 22:31:01

My friend spent all her 30s with same DP - he finished it

But she's met someone else, married him & has a baby - all after age 40!

Fairylea Wed 05-Oct-16 22:36:45

I was divorced twice by 28. First one was teen romance thing that went on for several years, had dd and then it all went tits up. Second one he left me for someone else...! Met my now dh at 31 and then had a ds together. Still going strong nearly 7 years on. We met on plenty of fish grin we are really happy. He was 7 years younger than me and living on his mums sofa having moved back from uni.... ! Sometimes you just have to stop worrying and go for things. You never know what's round the corner and it's never too late to give up. You have to keep putting yourself back out there.

Dowser Wed 05-Oct-16 22:41:32

A friend of mine never met the right one and was desperate for a baby.
She tried ivf. Nothing
Then had triplet boys at 46
She's very happy ;-)

BlackeyedSusan Wed 05-Oct-16 22:42:54

met ex h mid thirties married after 1.5 yrs. two children at 37 and 39. both have disabilities, but these have a large hereditary component. one from father, one from mother, therefore not age related.

was panicking by 32 about not having dcs.

do not regret it even though there are difficulties and we split. children are worth it. might not have said that when ds sank his teeth in my arse during an autistic meltdown in the supermarket but he is really worth it depsite all that

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