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Can't believe I'm here right now somebody please help

(10 Posts)
Standingonmytippytoes Tue 04-Oct-16 17:03:51

Sitting outside the ex's flat I have previous thread about how I kicked him out because it turned out he was cheating on me with a 17 year old. Well low and behold I let him back after he begged me and made out like he loved me and everything was going back to normal.
Well on Sunday he dropped the bombshell that he regrets coming back he preferred it on his own I told him to move out then. On Monday I had to go in to hospital and I was sedated and needed help with the dc's he told me it was no problem happy to source he came over.
I asked him and I know I was being unreasonable but I asked him not to start seeing anyone until after Christmas and that I would do the same I caught him out on a date today with somebody he met on Saturday. I'm sitting outside his flat crying I've asked him to come back so I can get cleaned up I'm so angry and upset and please don't be mean to me.

juneau Tue 04-Oct-16 17:08:46

Why are you at his flat? Please, go home and clean yourself up. And after that keep your contact with him to a bare minimum and regarding your DC only. Its unreasonable to try and tell him he can't see anyone else (as it would be unreasonable for him to ask/demand the same of you). He's a cheating twat - you know this - so for your own self-preservation and respect you need to walk away. Lean on your family and friends, get angry, but stop begging him to come back - it will just make you feel worse in the long run.

Cary2012 Tue 04-Oct-16 17:15:52

You have to let him go. This relationship is over and probably was before, but now you know for sure.

Don't sit outside his flat, you're worth more than that. There's no point telling him when he can start dating: firstly, he does what he wants anyway as you sadly know, and secondly he's moved out and he can and will please himself.

Find your pride, cut your losses and move on.

You, your kids, your health, there your only concerns now.

Prawnofthepatriarchy Tue 04-Oct-16 17:30:38

No point in asking us not to be mean to you when you're doing such a great job of beating yourself up. Go home. Stop this shit. It's over.

TheNaze73 Tue 04-Oct-16 17:33:46

You're worth more than that OP.

It sounds like you're Going to set yourself up for constant setbacks with him. Why on earth did you tell him he couldn't see anyone until Christmas? He took no notice of you when you were together? That's setting yourself up to fail.

You must let him go, he's no good for you

hesterton Tue 04-Oct-16 17:34:06

What do you mean by , 'cleaned up'?

Is it something you can't do alone?

He is not someone to rely

DeathStare Tue 04-Oct-16 17:34:43

What do you mean when you say "cleaned up? And why does he need to come home for you to do it?

chattygranny Tue 04-Oct-16 17:40:13

She's asked for some gentle treatment! Sorry you're going through this, you've had a horrible shock. You know the worst thing you can do now is feed the obsession with him, he's so not worth it. If you're very distressed is there someone in RL you could
call to drive you home? You mean get cleaned up from crying I assume? Keep posting on here there are lots of kinder people and many who have been through similar. Chin up, you can get through this.

Standingonmytippytoes Tue 04-Oct-16 18:00:51

I should of said I don't want him back. I know it wasn't my place to ask him not to start seeing anyone and I didn't honestly expect him to wait that long but he could of waited more than 3 days. Ithe wasn't the girl he was cheating on me with that he was seeing today.
I yes I wanted to get cleaned up because I was crying currently learning to drive. So couldn't drive myself home.

Cary2012 Tue 04-Oct-16 18:04:08

Just look after yourself lovely, you will get over this man and find someone worthy of you, but you need minimum contact, just urgent kids related stuff only, so you can move on. Take care

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