Please, please, please fuck off, Aunt

[BathshebaDarkstone]

We all have fluey colds. DD had hers while she was staying at my aunt's for the weekend. Today she's got dodgeball club before school and singing club after school. Last night my aunt was telling me not to let her do one of the clubs because of this cold, even though her appetite's just slightly down and she's a bit achy, now she's texted me asking if I'll be monitoring how tired she gets. No mention of whether DS will get tired, he'll get up earlier and go to bed later as well, and he'll do multi sports while she's doing singing.

There are 2 issues here:

1. She only gives a shit about DD2, I have 3 other DC.
   

1. She thinks I need to be told how to bring her up.
   

I'm just venting.

[Queenbean]

Is she only mentioning that one child because she was the only one who stayed with your aunt, so she's seen it first hand?

[redisthenewblack]

Why do you let your DC stay with a woman who 'doesn't give a shit' about them?

[Giratina]

Well I can kind of see where she's coming from. I wouldn't be sending a recovering, achy child to an early morning dodgeball club.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

DD2 is the only one she gives a shit about, the only one she's ever had to stay. DS1's just out of hospital again with cystic fibrosis, she hasn't even asked how he is. She resented that he and DD2 were going to have a joint birthday party (which never happened because he went into hospital), she's said that DD2 "will have her own party next year". She fucking already has, because DS1 was in hospital.

[MorrisZapp]

Assume there is a massive backstory here? If my mum was looking after DS I'd expect her to let me know if he was poorly and what kind of mood I might be finding him in.

On the surface, it sounds like an over reaction from you but there must be more to this.

[Queenbean]

I wouldn't think the comment in the OP on its own is unreasonable but your subsequent posts shows there are further issues

Have you spoken to her about it and said how hurtful it is that she openly favours one child over the others?

[JustSpeakSense]

I think you need to step back from this relationship with your aunt.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

We've all had this cold. DD's not exactly recovering, she barely had it. She already had it before she went away, so I didn't need to be told. She's being pfb about my child.

I'll come back later, I have to pick up the DC.

[Scarriff]

Lots of resentment in your post. Is there any chance your aunt feels you are so concerned about the child with cystic fibrosis that this one needs extra support? Or that as a childless relative she may pick a favourite niece because she hasnt the time or resources to treat all your children?

[Atenco]

Good points, Scarriff.

I do think there must be a lot of back story to this, because the fact that you let your dd stay with someone that you obviously despise is quite strange to me. And being concerned about a child's cold after that child stayed with you, does not sound OTT

[JugglingFromHereToThere]

At least someone is showing an interest in one of your children, I usually try to see that as some kind of a bonus! But obviously sometimes it's more complicated

[Debinaround]

Vent away Bath, it would piss me off too. Surely you treat all siblings the same and not pick one favourite to spend all your time and resources on. It was shitty of her not to ask after all of the kids, especially if one of them has been in hospital. Hope DS is feeling better.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

DS1 has only just come back into our lives after 9 years NC, he's 26, so although I worry it's up to him and the CF team to keep him healthy. He's actually much happier when he's in hospital as they look after him there.
My aunt has been overly attached to DD2 since she was born. DS2 would love to stay with her, get taken to expensive places, have seaside holidays at least twice a year, but she'd never do it.

DD2 was barely ill, DS1's just come out of hospital, DS2 had a roaring temperature and was off school yesterday. My aunt acted like DD2 was at death's door and didn't even ask about the other 2.

[BathshebaDarkstone]

DS1 came out of hospital on Friday night, he seems happy and as healthy as he can be.

I think my aunt is jealous that DD2 now spends time with him and my mum.

[PotteringAlong]

How old is dd2 that she was going to have a joint birthday party with a 26 year old?! If your children are adults then you need to step back; they can choose who they want or do not want to have a relationship with, as can your aunt. If you have been nc with your son you must appreciate that.

[Bogeyface]

Well I would allow DD2 to go on these treats etc if her younger brother isnt being invited too. She doesnt sound like the sort of person I would want around any of my kids, but the fact is that as the parent its up to you to make sure that your children are not exposed to this, and that means saying no to her wanting to take just DD2