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Baffled by others reaction to our relationship and buying a house together?

(6 Posts)
differentdays Mon 03-Oct-16 20:10:42

I am 40 and have never been married, don't want kids but I have been with my current partner for 22 years. We have never lived together and at times during our relationship lived in different countries sometimes only seeing each other ever month or couple of months, other times we have seen each other several times a week, when we are apart I have always missed him and he me. It has been a happy relationship and I love him very much.

We have now bought a house together and plan to move in before the end of the year. This is the first time we will have lived together. We have discussed getting married but it just feels kind of meaningless over and above what we already have and neither of us like any fuss.

Everyone says it is a big commitment, that we need to think about the "commitment" we are finally making and a few are urging marriage to cement things. It just all feels like people are trying to make a big deal it but I don't feel any different other than it will be nice to live together. It just feels natural really and the right time as we now both have more settled work.

I dont't really get what people mean about commitment and why they make it seems so laboured as if one must cling on for dear life. What does it mean to you to be commited? I feel like I always know I would share my life with this man but we just didn't rush into living together or marriage but I suspect now many other people didn't think of our 22 year relationship as serious.

Why do we have such strange ideas about what counts?

TheNaze73 Mon 03-Oct-16 20:25:37

22 years is rushing OP, how can you be so sure after such a short time together....? wink

Joking aside, all I can say, is do what you like & bollocks to everyone else.

Hope it all goes ok

mummytime Mon 03-Oct-16 20:36:12

I'd just say be careful and make sure you have full legal advice eg. what happens to shared assets if one of you dies? What if one of you is taken ill suddenly? etc.
Marriage makes it easier to sort out these practicalities (and even more so if you have "property" overseas), but it depends on what you want to happen.

ravenmum Mon 03-Oct-16 20:42:25

Buying a house is a commitment, though. You are putting a lot of money in and need to make sure you are both financially safe if something goes wrong. Or are you both so rich that it doesn't matter?

Overthinker2016 Mon 03-Oct-16 20:53:24

Yes, people don't take relationships seriously unless you live together / marry.

Not saying they are right but people like to validate their own choices.

Kittencatkins123 Mon 03-Oct-16 21:34:02

You sound like you have a great, happy, healthy, loving an very enviable relationship! Fuck what other people think - some people just have to find the negative in the loveliest positive!
Congrats!!!!!

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