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If you are dating in your 50s...

(13 Posts)
LittleMachine Sun 02-Oct-16 09:07:56

If you're in your 50s or thereabouts, and dating, how/where do you meet people?
My mum and dad separated a couple of years ago, after 35 years of marriage. My mum has recently decided she wants to date with the view to having a new relationship. I encouraged her to join match, which she has, and she has been on one date that isn't going to go any further.
She says that there aren't many men on there in our local area, and there are no mixer events in our city.
I suggested maybe taking up a hobby or joining a club but I'm at a loss of what to suggest really. I really want her to get out there and be happy, so if anyone has any better ideas than her clueless daughter I'd be very grateful!

tellmeboutit Sun 02-Oct-16 16:25:47

I'm dating someone from my past. There was always an unspoken attraction but we were both attached at the time. We met up as single people and hit it off. Nice to date a guy who is not a total stranger with no nasty surprises either. Same thing happened with my friend. Maybe your mum could get on FB and check out old friends, male and female?

TheNaze73 Sun 02-Oct-16 17:02:51

Soul nights & pubs with live music attracting an older clientele base seem to work for a lot of my friends

LittleMachine Sun 02-Oct-16 17:13:19

I think I need to be more persuasive getting her out and about with me! I'd happily go to soul nights and things.
Great idea about fb too thanks. I am trying to think if she's ever mentioned men from her past. She went to an all girls school, then met my dad, and she has mostly worked in female environments, but she did work in hospitals for a bit so she must know some nice doctors and nurses etc.

CharlieSierra Sun 02-Oct-16 17:43:55

Would she go dancing? She needs to get out and about in general, accept invitations, make sure all her friends and acquaintances know she is open to introductions and be selective but persistent with online dating. Try different sites if the first one isn't suiting.

Ragwort Sun 02-Oct-16 17:53:45

Do you have anything like the Lions where you live grin - it's a group for people who do fund raising & getting involved in the community, some are older and retired but not all and the group where we live is very outgoing and organises lots of different things. What are her hobbies and interests? Does she do volunteering? I am not dating but in my 50s and meet all sorts of people through volunteering.

BackforGood Sun 02-Oct-16 17:54:21

I agree with Charlie - go out and do some things she enjoys. Might not meet the new man there but generally widening the circle of friends, then means she meets their friends or relations and who know who she might meet.

LittleMachine Sun 02-Oct-16 18:09:57

Yes I agree with all of you. She works full time and has recently had guillain barres syndrome so I think volunteering would be too draining for her, but getting out meeting more people, definitely. She doesn't have any hobbies as such at the moment, but she does have a good social life, she just really misses having a man to go to the theatre with and stuff. Not that my dad ever did any of that but that's another story.

startingover231 Sun 02-Oct-16 20:03:26

What a lovely daughter your mum has!
Like tellme I'm also dating someone from my past. Thanks to good old Facebook! I would have really struggled with OLD and meeting 'strangers' . I agreed to meet my current partner because I felt safe! Even though i hadn't seen him for 36years! No expectations of it going anywhere! It was just a good way to get back out there! 18 months on we're really happy...
Good luck !

Ragwort Sun 02-Oct-16 20:25:57

If she likes the theatre why not join as a volunteer ..... most theatres have schemes whereby you do a bit of volunteering and get a complimentary ticket to the show and meet the other volunteers?

LittleMachine Sun 02-Oct-16 20:43:42

So many great ideas on here I can't wait to pass them on. I didn't know that Ragwort, I'll suggest she looks into it.
Startingover, thank you. Good luck to you all heading into new relationships and dating, it must be bloody scary.

garlicandsapphire Sun 02-Oct-16 21:09:40

I'm in my early 50s and do online dating as do lots of men my age. Guardian soulmates, POF, and apps like happn and bumble. She needs good photos - maybe you could help her with that? I've met a couple of men through RL too but mainly at friends parties/work. But online has been my main source.

LittleMachine Sun 02-Oct-16 21:29:04

She has great photos on her profile but only 2, maybe she should put some more on. She gets lots of messages on match and 'winks' grin but not many local men. She's currently messaging one local fella who looks nice but he hasn't asked her out yet. I'm trying to get her into the mentality of her being able to ask men too.

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