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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Tell me about your happy relationship

74 replies

NoCapes · 29/09/2016 18:02

What is it about your partner and relationship do you love?
I don't mean the buzz words - 'honesty, respect' etc etc
I mean what do they mean for you? How do you know you're loved, how is it shown?
What is it about your relationship that makes you know that you want to be there?

Really break it down to me Smile

OP posts:
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Mum4Fergus · 29/09/2016 18:07

He goes out of his way to spend time with me...he always holds my hand when we're out n about...he kisses my head...he hugs me like there's no tomorrow...he wrote a song about me...

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Tiredqueen87 · 29/09/2016 18:08

He rings me every single morning on his drive to work. Has done for years, started when we first met and now I don't like it if for some reason we can't, the day that stops I know it's the end

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Happylandpirate · 29/09/2016 18:13

He spent 25 minutes the other morning - without moaning - searching our bedroom for the massive spider I'd seen running across the bedroom floor... I'm unreasonably petrified of the things and he just knew I wouldn't relax until it was found!!! He found it!!! Now that's love!!! Grin!!!!

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WhisperingWind · 29/09/2016 18:13

He always wants to spend time with me, he goes out of his way to help me and do things that are inconvenient (little things like going to the shops when he's already in his pyjamas, picking me up when I could get the train.) He let's me choose which restaurants we eat at when we are going out! He rubs my feet.

To be fair I also hope I am very considerate for him, I cook him his favourite meals and am very loving and affectionate.

I love him very much one of the main reasons is he is so kind to me.

I am a great believer that you can get everything you need from one person though and my friendships are very important to me, but in terms of a partner DH is a very loving one who makes me very happy.

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Myusernameismyusername · 29/09/2016 18:18

Ah these are lovely. I've never had it but happy other people do Grin

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Tiredqueen87 · 29/09/2016 18:34

Username , you will 😊

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Roseformeplease · 29/09/2016 18:36

Even though he is always too hot, he puts the wood burner on for me, brings in the wood and keeps it going.

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Sassypants82 · 29/09/2016 18:42

He mostly does his very best. He listens to me & genuinely always tries his best. Those proud looks, over our DS's head, when we lock eyes & grin at something he's just said, make me so happy. We are a team & I feel so supported & secure. I often wake up holding his hand & he tells me everyday that he loves me & how lucky he feels. I say the same & do my best by him. He's an amazing Dad, hardworking & honest, pulls his weight & I know that our family together motivates that. That makes me feel loved.

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inaclearingstandsaboxer · 29/09/2016 18:43

DH has been away in his lorry for two days. He came home at 6pm.
I have been to see the GP today and she has referred me to the fast track breast clinic as I have a lump.
He has come home and I feel like I can't cook tonight even though I've got everything in for a slap up tea.
He is going to make me some egg and beans and has made me go to bed to sulk and feel sorry for myself.
He loves me
He wants to look after me.

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Pinkheart5915 · 29/09/2016 18:44

I think the biggest thing for me was when Our first baby was stillborn at 32 weeks, he was amazing he took months off work and supported me despite being broken himself. Without him I honestly don't know how I would of survived it.

I know I can tell him anything and he will listen and help/change things any way he can.

He does more than his fair share of parenting out DC and keeping the house nice. He doesn't need to be asked/told to do this, it's always just been equal.

He will make sure he arranges his time so he spends as much as possible with me and the DC. Nothing comes above us.

Every morning he gets the DC up gives ds his breakfast, DD her bottle and makes me lovely fresh pot of coffee while I shower. Then he goes off to work, and I take over with the DC.

He often comes home with flowers, chocolates and random other little gifts.

I love him, he is the 1 person that has Never let me down

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Mistykit · 29/09/2016 18:50

Oh good thread!!! I've only ever experienced abusive relationships so have no idea what a loving/normal one should be like... what's acceptable / not acceptable behaviour from guys. My mom was abusive when I was growing up so I have never seen or experienced a good relationship to learn from.

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Forgettheworld · 29/09/2016 18:52

He gets up at 6am 3 times a week with my DS (mine from a previous relationship, not his) even though he doesn't have to be up whilst 10 for his job, gets him ready for school and takes him so I can work. Rubs and tickles my feet, watches my programmes with me that I know he hates. Puts me first always, even when I tell him not to. Sometimes when we are out with other people we will just catch each other's eyes and I can see the love in his face

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alphabook · 29/09/2016 18:54

We have a cuddle in bed every morning before getting up, and a kiss before we leave for work and when we get home. He tells me he loves me every day. We'll chat throughout the day by text and in the evenings. He really makes me laugh, we just have fun hanging out together and I feel lucky that I get to live with my best mate. We share the housework and I feel like we are a proper team, we've been through a lot of tough times together and have come through stronger. He looks after me when I'm not well and knows how to put a smile on my face. If we argue neither of us are too stubborn to apologise and we never go to bed angry.

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HopperBusTicket · 29/09/2016 18:56

I don't know really. He's never given me a reason to doubt him, I've always trusted him and that trust has been repaid. Does he annoy me sometimes? Of course and no doubt I annoy him too. But as someone has mentioned above, we're a team and I know I can rely on him absolutely. As an example - when I had PND I was very difficult to live with (it was difficult for me too of course but hard for everyone) but he never complained, stepped up and looked after me as well as our children.

I do believe there are lots of decent men out there. I'm sorry you haven't met them yet and I hope you will.

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FunkyChunk · 29/09/2016 18:57

He is my best friend and cheerleader.

I had an awful day yesterday. He put DD to bed and made my favourite dinner while I had a bath with wine. He asks if there is anything he can do to make me feel better. Mostly all he has to do is be there!

He sometimes comes home with flowers, just because. It's not the fact that he has bought me something that makes me happy, it's because he just happened to think of me. He appreciates me and tells me so.

I do return the kindness to him, it makes me happy to make him happy too. We are just kind to each other.

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Sparklesilverglitter · 29/09/2016 18:57

My DH has always stepped up when I have needed him too, we have argued over our many years together but when it really matters he has come good.

He makes me coffee while I'm feeding baby in the night , or he will feed baby and let me sleep.

He does his share of taking care of our baby and doesn't need telling.

He makes sure his work allows him X amount of time a week for us to spend together. So he might work late on a Thursday so we can have the whole of Saturday and Sunday together.

I've only had my first baby at 39 so over the years I have worked my way up the job chain and I'm now top level. Without him boosting my confidence each time a promotion came up I probably wouldn't be where I am now.

I feel loved and wanted

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GruochMacAlpin · 29/09/2016 19:03

He has been my best friend for over 25 years. He is the person I want to talk to, laugh and cry with before anyone else. We look after each other, support each other, appreciate each other.

I don't know why it works so well, apart from we work very hard at it and we communicate well (and lots -sometimes loudly! Smile).

Whatever it is we have, it must be noticeable as other people comment on it from time to time.

We're very lucky. I hope my children find such happiness in their partners.

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W8woman · 29/09/2016 19:03

Brings tea and toast to me every morning and gets DD up, fed and ready for school so I can take my time, because I'm not a morning person, and he is.

Compliments me on what I'm wearing or how I've done my hair. I've been both a size 8 fashion plate and morbidly obese during our marriage, and he's been appreciative no matter what.

Does things I hate doing, such as organising holidays and taking the rubbish out.

Takes care of my parents as if they were his own (and sympathises with me when they're getting on my nerves).

Texts me stuff he's seen in the paper or one of his mags which will make me laugh.

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WingsofNylon · 29/09/2016 19:03

I love these. I have spent oo much time on the relatuonships board recetly and it is easy to forget the good out there. All these examples add up.

He does kind things for me. Like driving to 3 pharmacies at 3am before finding one that was open to buy me pain killers for my period pain. I didn't ask, he just saw I was in pain and went.

We do the boring things together to share the load. E.g. good shop or the cleaning and you know what? Half the time they and up fun.

What is most important for me though is that I truely try to be great to him rather than just expecting him to be great to me.

We always give each other a proper goodbye.

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Landoni112 · 29/09/2016 19:06

A www best thread ever!

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Czerny88 · 29/09/2016 19:06

So now we know who's got all the decent men! Envy Wink

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WingsofNylon · 29/09/2016 19:07

Oh and the biggie for me is he is just as involved in wedding planning as I am. I could never love a man who was happy to just turn up on the day like so many seem to.

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BitchQueen90 · 29/09/2016 19:08

I love reading these threads so much. Seeing other people happy makes me happy. Smile

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WingsofNylon · 29/09/2016 19:08

Sorry for all the typos. I have no excuse. I am just lazy.

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Blueskyrain · 29/09/2016 19:08

He is my world. He is simply the best man I've ever met. He is one of the few genuinley naturally romantic guys I know. We have both made an effort to make sure that we always nurture our relationship - not take it for granted, and we are still very much in the happy, giddy, loved up stage, even though we've been together nearly a decade. We are that couple that stops in the supermarket to hug, or is on the bus holding both hands. Sickening, but I love him so much.

He makes me laugh, and although we've occasionally had small niggly arguments (though still pretty rare TBH), we don't have relationship drama, so we've been able to sort out any disagreements in love - if we disagree, we tend to hold hands, hug and kind of sort it out nicely.

We have a lot of fun; spending time together and nurturing our relationship, is very important to both of us. I don't see a relationship as constraining me in any way, but that through being together we get the oppertunity to do so much more. We spend a lot of time together, but we are happy doing things apart.

I think as well as not taking eachother for granted, we very much think of the other before ourselves. He thinks of my needs and desires before his own, which is fine, because in return I try to put him first. His selflessness means he doesn't think 'what can I get away with', but more 'what can I do to make my wife happy', and he succeeds at that very, very well.

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