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Distance relationship

(6 Posts)
Bigbouncingbaby Wed 28-Sep-16 18:13:45

Long story split up with my ex last year messy to start but fairy amicable now . He has a new partner now and I am seeing someone at my work.

He is 17 years older than me separated and liked me fora while. Started dating took it slowly as I was nervous it being to soon and about the kids. They are young 2 and 5, his are 24 and 17. He was v keen said kids ages not a problem etc . All pretty good in all. After the summer his 17 year old son moved in with him as nearer collage and his mum was fed up with him after summer holidays

Problem is DP lives 30 miles away so obviously I can't get to his in the week as I have kids mainly. He comes to me maybe twice a week but always goes home because of his son . On weekends I have kids he sees them a bit but has football training and he supports a premier team . So it seems like we spend every two weeks together as a proper couple

I just feel after a year we should be closer.obviudly he puts his son first as I have to but is the relationship just pointless .

He says I should chill and it will all work out but mainly I just feel lonely like I'm doing everything myself . Is he just to busy for us or not bothered.

Mybeardeddragonjustdied2016 Wed 28-Sep-16 18:15:18

I share custody of my 3x ds and they live 30 miles away- I see them loads!! With some effort and juggling that's not far at all!

TheNaze73 Wed 28-Sep-16 19:11:32

I must say I agree with him. It's only been a year, enjoy the moment & don't preoccupy yourself with what the future holds. It'll progress naturally, when the time is right

Threepineapples Wed 28-Sep-16 19:14:08

So you work together, see him twice a week bit he doesn't stay over, all weekend EOW and some of the opposite weekend as well?

Sounds pretty good to me for a couple that both have dependent DC living with them!

How much more could he see you without actually moving in? Is that what you'd like?

Cabrinha Wed 28-Sep-16 22:35:12

You ask if he's too busy for us yet he's the one coming to you twice in the week!

Do your children have any overnights with their father?

In post divorce / children relationships, this is just how it goes.

My boyfriend will spend one night a week away from his 17yo - is that something you've discussed? I would be disappointed at not having the overnights.

Is he likely to be off to uni in 2 years time? Even if not, by then he'll be settled and your boyfriend should be OK to leave him.

HeddaGarbled Wed 28-Sep-16 23:42:40

I don't think this is the right man for you. I think you went for the first man who showed an interest after your break up. He is happy with a twice weekly shag with a much younger woman who doesn't have any other impact on his settled routine. You want a proper relationship.

Think of him as your emotional/sexual boost while you recovered from your break up. You can part on good terms. You each benefitted from each other. Now it's time to move on and find a man who wants the same things as you do.

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