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Is this normal?

3 replies

CherryBlossomPink · 27/09/2016 20:18

I'm 2 and a bit months into being seperated, although we are still living in the same house which is giving me anxiety issues as I no longer feel like it's my home. I'm looking to move into a rental property shortly and the house will be out on the market. I had lots of days spent in tears when we first split, but felt like I was moving on and getting stronger, but this week has just been hell - all the emotions seem to be back out of the blue, and I've spent most of the day in tears again.
Please someone tell me this is just a normal process and that it does get better!

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Humblebee1 · 27/09/2016 20:35

Yes, this is normal, I would say you will feel like you're strong one day and back to square one the next for a good while yet, especially whilst you still have a lot to sort out. But the days in tears will become less and every difficult hurdle in the separation will be one less to get over. You need time to get through it and then rebuild. Feelings don't just switch off overnight. But look forward and good luck.

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CatBallou2 · 27/09/2016 20:45

CherryBlossomPink, so sorry that you're going through this awful time.

I can reassure you that you will feel better. I didn't believe people when they told me that after my break up, but it is true that in time you'll feel so much better. It's hard for you while you're still sharing the same home as your ex, so when you have your own home you'll be able to move on without the added stress of your current living arrangements.

I'm 8 months down the line from my break up and most of the time I'm ok, but I still have moments of sadness. Be gentle with yourself and do things that give you comfort. Would you consider seeing a counsellor? If you have people in your life who can support you, then let them, as it really helps to talk and have a hug.

Take care of yourself.

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CherryBlossomPink · 27/09/2016 21:51

Thanks for the reassurance - it does help! Cat, I have been referred to counselling by my GP, but in my area they ask you to attend 6 group sessions first, then refer to individual counselling if that hasn't helped. The group sessions are presentations on anxiety and dealing with symptoms which has helped, but I think talking to someone is more what I need at the moment to help make sense of everything.
My family is hugely supportive and I'm trying to push myself to reinvent a social life - I've joined a meet up group in my area but keep chickening out, but I've made a promise to myself to attend the next meet on Saturday, so now having anxiety about that! I'm sure the first one will be the hardest and keep telling myself that even if I only go for an hour I'll feel so much more positive having made that first step.
Onwards and upwards (hopefully!)