Apologies in advance if this is long, but I'm really at a loss of what to do.
Will try get all the facts out there as to not drip feed etc.
Exdp and I have DD who is 6, we broke up when she was 3 due to him repeadetedly cheating, he was controlling, manipulating, emotionally and physically abusive. We had a very messy break up with police, solicitors and courts involved.
Eventually after a long battle he agreed to seeing DD 2 days a week, picking her up from school at 3:00pm and dropping her to my work at 6:00pm. The manipulating never stopped, and only got worse when he found out I was in a serious relationship, he has constantly tried to guilt trip me into getting back with him, he has put all the blame on me, won't accept he was physically abusive on more than one occasion and that I had the right to leave due to that alone.
Thanks to Mumsnet, friends, family and my wonderful DP, I have managed to realise I can ignore the maniupulating and emotionally abusive texts now but god it has been hard, and there is still probably around once a month when I crack and he gets to me.
Fast forward to now, I have a great relationship with current dp and currently 26 weeks pregnant.
Since exdp found out I was pregnant the nastiness has been ramped up, he then said last week that due to my actions (falling pregnant) I will have to suffer the consequences of him not seeing DD anymore, he told DD last Thursday that he will not be seeing her anymore once the baby is born because of Mummy. I explained to DD that it is not my fault, I wanted him to continue seeing her and have done nothing to stop that happening, and would never do anything to stop him picking her up from school on his 2 days. I don't think she fully understands that he plans to stop seeing her whenver he finds out the baby is born.
So anyway today is his usual day to pick her up, I work full time and the arrangement the past year and half has been he picks her up Tuesday and Thursday, and my mum picks her up Monday, Wednesday and Friday. There has been many days when he has texted last minute or the day before to say he can't have her, on these occasions my mum has stepped in and picked her up or I have had to leave work last minute, which is now starting to cost me my job as there has just been one too many times I've had to leave and apologise last minute, walk out on meetings/clients etc.
Over the weekend I had a chain of messages from him, all pointing out how I was ruining his life by having another baby, I had ruined our daughters life by leaving and not giving her a complete family. I ignored all these texts as I'm already stressed out and had been advised by my midwife to start taking it easy.
Now to yesterday, I recieve a text saying can my mum pick DD up on Tuesday as he can't do it now, I said I would ask. Asked my mum and she said she can't due to a appointment at 2:45pm, I said understood. I let exdp know straight away and said that if he called around child minders he may be able to find someone but it's very last minute and all the ones I know have no vacancies.
He replied and said he would sort it, but may be 45 minutes late to the school, I said I think it would be best he calls the school as I don't think they can just wait, he said not to worry he will sort it.
Then at 3:00am I recieve a text... About 6 pages long but basically saying how he can't live without me anymore and if I am choosing to live my life with someone else and start a new family then its best he says goodbye to me and DD now.
I replied when I woke up and said seriously just pick DD up at 3:00pm and stop messing around as there is no one else to get her at short notice, and that if he ain't there to pick her up then the school will be phoning him as they know Tuesday's is his day.
He has chose not to reply.
What do I do? I have asked everyone I can but no one can get there at short notice, if I leave work I will be leaving them in the shit as I work for a small company, the only other memeber of staff is off on holiday. I'm so worried if I have to leave early today I will lose my job which is depended on to help pay the bills.
But what else can I do? I'm not sure if I should leave work at 2:00pm so that I am at the school causing less distress for DD if he don't turn up, or if I should wait it out and see if the school call me to say no one has turned up for DD, but then I will have to leave work anyway and will take me around 45mins-1hour to get to the school.
I'm actually sat in work on the verge of tears which is probably hormonal but I just can't believe he would do this to DD.
Any advice at all would be appreciated, whether it be with the current situation with the school or with what I should tell DD about him stopping seeing her.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Exdp is not going to pick DD up from school - WWYD?
ListenToYourHeart · 27/09/2016 12:42
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