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Im i right to be upset?

(11 Posts)
Kayleigh787 Mon 26-Sep-16 03:09:24

I'm new and to be honest have no idea where to post so im doing it here.
me and my partner have been talking about starting a family im 20 he is 25 although that sounds young we live in a rent free house have a mortgage but we rent it out own our own car and both work full time. Anyway he agreed that i should get my implant took out but has turned around and said now that he dosnt want me to get it out and we should wait 5 years! that's fine but why did he agree and get my hopes up i understand its a decision that we both have to make an im not forcing him but i feel more upset that he agreed and has now changed his mind! it makes me so angry that i cant be around him right now. i asked him plenty off times are you sure its what you want and he said yes till the very last minute! worst is he does not see what my problem is and chooses to ignore the fact that im upset

RonaldMcDonald Mon 26-Sep-16 03:22:30

I'm sorry you are upset and it sounds as though he isn't hearing your frustrations
Sounds like you've had lots of hopes and expectations broken
Also doesn't sound like you are communicating well together

Are you sure that a baby is the right thing?

Only1scoop Mon 26-Sep-16 03:24:01

I'd rather he was honest now than deciding after a DC is on the scene.
Perhaps he was worried about being truthful because you are so keen.

softboiledeggs Mon 26-Sep-16 03:29:58

It's seems sensible to wait a while and maybe he knows you are ready so struggled to say no but is there a reason he is putting a 5 year time frame on it? If he is not ready then he's not ready but I would ask him to be open to it and see how you feel next year / year after... it may still end up being 5 years, things may change so that by next year you decide you want to wait a bit longer etc I know it's frustrating but there really is no rush as you are both young.

TheSparrowhawk Mon 26-Sep-16 07:14:58

He's messing with your head. Tell him to fuck off. You're very young, plenty of time to have kids, go and find someone decent.

UnmentionedElephantDildo Mon 26-Sep-16 07:18:25

"asked him plenty off times are you sure its what you want"

How may times is 'plenty'? Tbh, someone repeatedly asking about something I thought has been agreed would rapidly become irksome and could lead me to reconsider

Starryeyed16 Mon 26-Sep-16 07:23:52

You are still fairly young yourself and I speak as someone who got pregnant in my 20s and had my DS at 21 I missed out on so many things having a child so young and I didn't end up with his dad as he was immature and went off with someone else.

I went on to have my DD with my DH aged 26 and to be me I was much wiser and settled at that age, I have since gone in to have my final DC aged 28.

It's good you've discussed it together and maybe he's given it extra thought an just thinks a couple more years will be better it's such a big decision and lifetime commitment.

SandyY2K Mon 26-Sep-16 08:40:34

How long have you been together?

You are quite young. There's no rush at this stage.

It's best to have a very stable relationship before bringing a new life into the world.

A child is a huge responsibility.
It changes a lot.
Live a bit and enjoy the time you have child free.

Kayleigh787 Tue 27-Sep-16 18:58:48

I only asked him as he seem reluctant to send link for doctors forms to sign up. We have been living together for 2 and a bit years. I didn't think we where rushing this wasn't an overnight conversation this was a continuations conversation over a 6 month period I wasn't forcing him to do anything he didn't want. We talked about it and agreeded we could wait longer it's not the fact he won't do it now more the fact he agreeded the decided against it while I had my hopes sky high. Mabie one day in the future we will try again 😊

Allalonenow Tue 27-Sep-16 19:17:14

Twenty is very young to be starting a family. You have been living together for a while already, with all the responsibilities that that includes.

Why not put the baby idea on hold for a while, and use the freedom that you have at the moment to see a bit of the world, get some life experiences that might be difficult with a small baby to look after, and most of all have some fun!

It is better that he has told you now, than gone ahead with a pregnancy only to leave you and the child in a year or two, as he didn't really want a family so soon.

KungFuPandaWorksOut Tue 27-Sep-16 19:49:46

He has a right too change his mind, you have a right too be upset. He agreed, but now he wants to wait. He's allowed that option.
But you need to make sure, that in 5 years time is he going to say let's wait another five years.

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