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(12 Posts)
Funnylady123 Sun 25-Sep-16 14:49:07

Am looking for some sensible advice. I have fallen for an ex colleague and not sure what to do. We haven't worked together for a while but I still think about this person all the time. Recently bumped into them and asked for contact details as was getting vibes they were interested in friendship at the least, which I would be happy to settle with. I made contact but have heard nothing, now I don't know whether to assume I read the signals all wrong, or contact them again, just with friendly chat to see if it leads anywhere. I don't want to appear desperate, but also don't wan to miss the chance of friendship or possibly more.

user1474669297 Sun 25-Sep-16 20:40:58

How long has it been since they haven't replied?
I mean with signals, it's usually very easy to tell, I mean I don't know what signals they were giving you so I can't comment on that.
I wouldn't contact them again though, you've reached out and if they don't message you back then forget and move on and don't focus on wasted time and energy.

Funnylady123 Sun 25-Sep-16 21:38:34

It's been over a week, I agree and my brain is telling me not to make contact again, but I am struggling to accept that I read the signals so wrong and my heart is telling me that I may be missing my chance. I don't know for sure the person got my message, although can see no reason why not.
Feel like I will always wonder what if...

HeddaGarbled Sun 25-Sep-16 21:48:27

No, don't contact again. You asked for contact details, you made first contact. Ball's in his/her court.

Funnylady123 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:14:31

Thanks, you are both right, I know that. Am trying to keep busy and distracted, hopefully these feelings will pass. I have been single for a while and although mostly happy with that, am going through a lonely patch at the moment and bumping into this person just gave me a glimmer of hope.

user1474669297 Sun 25-Sep-16 22:34:26

I've been through the same before, when you feel alone and you meet someone who gives you that bit of attention you needed and so cling on to that hoping for more. I got over that feeling and so will you. I just listed all the good things about me and if said person can't see it then screw them, if only they knew what an affect they were having on you for them not messaging you...don't let someone have this kind of power over you. Don't wonder what if because it has to be a two way thing, so leave it, get engrossed in something else. I always find a box set or movies help

Funnylady123 Mon 26-Sep-16 06:25:51

You are right user, actually i'm a bit cross with this person. The message I sent was friendly and chatty, nothing more, and I think they are pretty rude not even responding, just need to keep reminding myself that I don't need someone like this, who would probably mess me around anyway.

keepingonrunning Mon 26-Sep-16 10:53:09

Being in a lonely patch makes you vulnerable to getting involved with someone who exploits your neediness. Be vigilant or wait till you have worked on feeling more self-confident and content with your life.

Funnylady123 Mon 26-Sep-16 18:54:05

Thanks keeping, I really thought I was okay and had reached the stage where I was happy being single, but seeing this person has opened up all my past feelings of wanting to share my life with someone. Hoping that it is a temporary blip and this sadness will pass.

Funnylady123 Fri 30-Sep-16 17:35:05

Well, they finally responded - I am now even more confused! The reply was chatty and friendly, with no undertones of anything more. Completely different to the impression I got face to face.
Am worried that maybe I didn't give signals that I would be interested in more and they have backed off.
Not sure what to do now?

pocketsaviour Fri 30-Sep-16 17:59:14

Do they perhaps have a partner that you wouldn't have known about?

Funnylady123 Fri 30-Sep-16 18:26:05

No, they are definitely single. Maybe I just misread the signals, although it was noticed by other people.
Think I am too old for game playing, so will just try and move on.

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